Thursday 26 February 2015

Pain in the Grass

We love a bizarrely sustained injury on Football Circus. Of course we don't wish them on anyone, but when they happen, oh how we laugh. This week we report on a number of freak impairments. We have a dog related injury in Brazil; Dani Alves doing himself a misfortune after a run in with a water bottle; and in Italy, a celebration that ended with tears of pain rather than tears of joy. With news of McDonald's staff being hit with McMuffins and fan violence in Greece, this week really is all about the pain. We do have a Bastian of goodwill however, as a certain Mr. Schweinsteiger proves himself to be Mr. Nice Guy...


Football Circus Clown Quote of the Week
"I have stupidly reacted and touched Tom up". 
- Mr. Joseph Barton on his 'touching up' of Tom Huddlestone.

Hibs Star hit with McDonald's Ban after Staff hit with McMuffins
19 year old Hibernian striker Jason Cummings has been banned from McDonald's after some unruly behaviour in one of their outlets. Cummings apparently threw McMuffins at staff members, leading to his ban. He was then dropped for Hibs' next game, sparking rumours that the club had disciplined him for his cake throwing antics.
Speaking to the Daily Record, a McDonald’s spokeswoman stated:
"Following behaviour deemed to be unacceptable, we are in the process of writing to this individual, informing him of our decision to ban him from Gorgie Road restaurant.
"Our first priority is to ensure that our restaurants are a safe and welcoming environment for our customers and employees, so we take antisocial behaviour very seriously".
A "source close to the player" however, has spoken out in his defence:
"Jason has been left quite upset by these allegations and wants to stress that he did nothing wrong. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got caught up in something that wasn't his doing.
"Thankfully, he has the full support of the club and his manager, Alan Stubbs and, as ever, he's working hard to get back in the team for their game against Alloa on Saturday. He just wants to put this behind him and get on with scoring goals for Hibs".
We're lovin' it.

Greek Super League Suspended after Pana-Olympiacos Match Marred by Violence
Panathinaikos took on Olympiacos last weekend and Pana ran out 2-1 victors in a closely contested game. However it was fan violence that stole the headlines as the 'Derby of the Eternal Enemies' was fraught with ugly scenes. 
Panathinaikos ultras threw torches and a chair at opposition coach Vitor Pereira before a ball had even been kicked. Fireworks, flares and smokebombs were then thrown at the Olypiacos players, forcing them to retreat back down the tunnel, delaying kickoff by 15 minutes. The second half of the match saw Olympiacos midfielder Pajtim Kasami get hit by a flare.
The fixture was dubbed "an atrocity for Greek football" by Olympiacos president Evangelos Marinakis.
Indeed, that sentiment would appear to be shared by the Greek government, as the Greek Super League has now been suspended as a result of the violence seen last weekend.
Greek deputy minister for sport, Stavros Kontonis, announced:
"This violence is an insult to all of us and our national heritage.
"When it comes to addressing the issue of violence in football, we will be unrelenting".
Greek Super League president Giorgos Borovilos said of the league's suspension:
"What we have been informed is that the Super League and the Football League have been suspended indefinitely.
"We have a new government who are looking to bring this subject up for discussion and implement state laws related to it.
"The government wants games to start again as soon as possible, but for that they want to see immediate reactions from all of us.
"There will be further discussions between ourselves, the board of the Hellenic Football Federation (EPO) and the Football League where we will see how we can build legislative frameworks and implement security measures to ensure football is safe".

Dogs and Inanimate Objects are the Main Cause of Injuries in Football this Week
Last weekend saw Joao Paulo of Brazilian side Democrata, become the victim of one of what must surely be one of the most bizarre injuries to have been sustained on a football pitch. The unlikely striker fell foul of a police dog who was on duty at Democrata's match against Tupi in the Minas Gerais state regional championship. The hound bit Joao Paulo's arm, leaving him in need of treatment. The player's arm was bandaged up and he managed to return to the pitch, though after the final whistle he was immediately rushed to hospital for an anti-rabies vaccine.

Lazio midfielder  Antonio Candreva was made to look a bit foolish last Sunday, despite scoring in his team's 2-1 win over Palermo. Candreva managed to bag Lazio's second goal and couldn't contain his delight afterwards. He ran towards the Lazio fans to celebrate but somehow managed to run into the metal fence which he appeared to be intent on climbing. He was then spotted limping and shortly thereafter was substituted. 

Later in the week, Barcelona's Dani Alves did himself a mischief, though his injury came as a result of his temper and not in celebration of a goal. The Brazilian full back was taken off after 75 minutes of Barcelona's Champions League clash with Man City on Tuesday. Unimpressed with the decision, Alves kicked out at a poor, unassuming water bottle. Unfortunately for Alves, the kick wasn't too well thought out and his knee made contact with a metal barrier, leaving him in need of treatment after the game. Water bottle 1, Dani Alves 0.

Bastian Proves He's No Schwein with Kind Gesture
Bayern Munich and Germany midfielder Bastian Schweinsteiger this week proved himself to be one of the good guys in football by reaching out to a father...whose son wouldn't wash his hair!
The story began on Friday when the World Cup winner was about to board the Bayern Munich team bus, but before doing so, stopped to pat adoring young fan Raphael Maier on the head. The boy was so overwhelmed by the moment that he refused to let his father, Klaus, wash his hair ever since. Klaus Maier took to Facebook to seek help from Schweinsteiger. 
Maier wrote:
"Dear Bastian Schweinsteiger, my 5 year old son you gave a beautiful moment on Friday: when the team bus for departure was ready, you graciously gave autographs and noticed the small Raphael at the barrier, as you looked up. Then you patted him on the head and asked if he was okay. He then freezes like a pillar of salt and could say nothing. He was pleased but endlessly talks about it and strictly refuses to let me wash his hair since. In any case, God bless you. You are a joyful, friendly and down-to-Earth young man who remained like this, despite all your achievements. The child could not wish for a better example. We wish you health, happiness and success in all walks of life and until the next time".
Schweinsteiger, perturbed by the youngster's unwashed barnet, then had a "That's all I can stands, I can't stands no more" moment and replied to the father, promising a gift would be sent to the boy if he agreed to have his hair washed. Said Schweini:
"Dear Klaus Maier, thank you for your message on my Facebook page. I really don't want to be at fault for your son's unwashed hair!
Therefore: If Raphael washes his hair again, I'll send him a little surprise.
Best wishes, Bastian".
Bastian Schweinsteiger, Germany's answer to Vidal Sassoon.

What's Mad Mario Upto this Week?
Another week, another controversy-stricken appearance for Mario Balotelli. Despite scoring the penalty which proved to be the winning goal in Liverpool's victory over Besiktas in last Thursday's Europa League clash with Besiktas, Balo has still landed himself in trouble for wrestling the ball from captain Jordan Henderson in order to take the penalty. Super Mario later attemped to move on from the penalty drama by posting the following Instagram photo / message:
However manager Brendan Rodgers was not satisfied with the striker's contribution to the game overall. 
An irked Rodgers said after the game:
"We need to ensure that whatever level of the game we are playing at we have everyone working as a team but once we get the penalty he stops working. So he needs to improve on that facet of his game to play in his position, rather than standing on the side of the football field.
"He has contributed because he has got the penalty and scored the goal but that is what he is paid to do. So he needs to keep that efficiency in his game and show that he can affect the team whether he is asked to play from the bench or from the start.
"In this team it is about hard work. In a different country and a different style of football that would be all that matters but in this team here it’s more than that".
Balo was so affected by his manager's comments regarding his on-pitch dedication, that he posted a picture of himself posing with a puma statue to his Facebook page on Monday.

Italian Football Story of the Week
- Cannavaro Handed 10 Month Prison Sentence
Well this is a bit of a shocker. Former Italy captain Fabio Cannavaro has been sentenced to a 10 month prison sentence...And all because he went for a swim! 
Cannavaro is currently being investigated for tax evasion, with almost €1 million worth of he and his wife's possessions having being seized in October by authorities in Naples (Crime in Naples? Surely not! Check out our Non-Football Recommendation of the Week by the way!). His Naples villa had also been seized and Cannavaro and his family were under strict instructions not to enter it.
Unfortunately, the former Real Madrid, Inter Milan, Juventus and Parma star, breached the order as he, his wife Daniela Arenoso and his brother Paolo, currently playing for Serie side Sassuolo, decided to go for a swim in the pool!
After being caught out for their stupidity, the trio were duly handed prison sentences. All three have appealed the sentences and as such, the sentences have been suspended. 
Even if Cannavaro somehow avoids jail time, his troubles look far from over as his company Fd Service apparently owe over €1 million in taxes.

Artist's Impression of the Week
- 'Freak Injuries'; Dog, metal fence and water bottle conspire to injure footballers.

Football Recommendation of the Week
- The Game; The podcast offering from The Times in the UK. Perhaps not quite as good as it's Guardian counterpart Football Weekly, the Gab Marcotti-hosted show is still worth a listen.

Non Football Recommendation of the Week
- Gomorrah; Gritty, realistic depiction of the corruption, crime and poverty experienced throughout southern Italy on a daily basis.

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