This week on Football Circus: Mourinho gets nasty as he responds to Rafa Benitez's wife; Blatter in cahoots with Vladimir Putin; Eto'o's Russian not upto scratch and; pitches get invaded by a dog and bees.
Football Circus Clown Quote of the Week
"The last team you want in your group is Germany; the second best team in the world".
- Martin Keown comments on Saturday's World Cup qualifying draw.
Mourinho Loses It with Mrs. Benitez
Rafa Benitez's wife Montse this week playfully suggested to La Region, that her husband tidies up Jose Mourinho's messes. After taking over at Inter Milan, Chelsea and most recently, Real Madrid, Benitez has managed three teams where Mourinho had already made a mark. Montse jokingly said of the matter:
"We tidy up his messes.
"We tidy up his messes.
"If you think about it, of course you end up crossing paths. There are only a few world-class clubs out there".
Unable to see the funny side however, Mourinho has reacted furiously to the comments and said after Chelsea's friendly with Barcelona on Tuesday:
"The lady is a bit confused, with all respect.
"I'm not laughing, because her husband went to Chelsea to replace Roberto Di Matteo and he went to Real Madrid and replaced Carlo Ancelotti.
"The only club where her husband replaces me was at Inter Milan, where in six months he destroyed the best team in Europe at the time. And for her also to think about me and to speak about me, I think the lady needs to occupy her time and if she takes care of her husband's diet she will have less time to speak about me".
Sounds like somebody was in a bad mood!
Blatter Should Get Nobel Prize...Says Putin
Sepp Blatter hasn't exactly got the best reputation in football right now, but he been given a ringing endorsement this week...by Russian president Vladimir Putin of all people. Putin told Reuters of Blatter:
"We all know the situation developing around Mr Blatter right now.
"I don’t want to go into details but I don’t believe a word about him being involved in corruption personally.
"I think people like Mr Blatter or the heads of big international sporting federations, or the Olympic Games, deserve special recognition. If there is anyone who deserves the Nobel Prize, it’s those people".
Vladimir Putin...Quite a character witness!
Me Fail Russian? That's Un-возможное! Eto'o's Tutor Unimpressed
(Yes, we did use Google translate to confirm that 'возможное' is the Russian for 'possible', before we shamelessly misquoted Ralph Wiggum).
In an interview with Eurosport's 'Le Buzz', Samuel Eto'o's former Russian & French tutor Rebecca Prew has revealed that the Cameroonian is a terrible student. Prew was hired by Eto'o for tutoring during his time at Russian side Anzhi Makhachkala. She revealed that she did not know who Eto'o was at the time and was unimpressed with him as a student.
Said Prew:
"I had no idea who he was, which I think got me the job. They said they wanted someone who could teach him without being awestruck.
"Everything in his apartment was designer, and he often spoke about the yacht parties he’d been on with his team mates.“He’d pay me in cash from a money holder that was bursting with 500, 100 and 50 euro notes.
"As a student, he was absolutely rubbish. He had a terrible attention span. The football was typically always on in the background.
"He struck me as quite youthful, and very keen to learn even if he didn’t have the best attention span.
"They gave me his personal e-mail address so I could send him homework to do.
"When I arrived for lessons he’d often have his finished homework in front of him, with a big smile on his face like a happy kid".
This Week's Non-Human Pitch Invaders: A Dog and Bees
Regular readers will be all too aware of our fondness for pitch invasions, not least when the pitch invaders aren't of the human variety. This week we learned of two such invasions, the first of which came in Germany when a dog entered the field of play during a pre-season game for SC Freiburg's women's side.
The dog in question not only ran onto the pitch but sent Freiburg player Lina Magull flying. With Magull's eyes firmly fixed on an aerial ball, the hound caused the unfortunate midfielder to fall over before the ball reached her. An enquiry as to whether opposition staff had bribed the dog with biscuits is now underway.
Meanwhile a friendly between Oldham Athletic and Blackburn Rovers was delayed this week after a swarm of bees decided they were taking over a goalpost. The officials at Boundary Park were forced to call a local beekeeper to come in and remove the unwelcome guests before proceedings could get underway. Reports suggest that fans had never before experienced such a buzz at the ground before a pre-season friendly.
What's Mad Mario Upto this Week?
Could Bologna be Super Mario's next destination? Having been linked with a move away from Anfield all summer, Balo is now rumoured to top Bologna's shopping list, as a return to Italy has been mooted for the striker. And the Serie A club have not denied the possibility of a transfer. The club's sporting director, Panteleo Corvino told Corriere dello Sport:
"I would take him, he would be highly motivated here.
"Of course, Bologna have to respect certain financial parameters, but for the right price I would even look at the possibility of buying him outright".
It's little wonder Balo is being linked with a move away, as he must certainly feel ostricised. Liverpool this week tweeted a Balotelli-less photo, accompanied by a story headlined:
"Adam Lallana can't wait to link up with 'world class' talent waiting back at Melwood".
However, the original photo was tweeted by Empire of the Kop and included Balotelli, thus proving that he had been cropped out by Liverpool for their story as they perhaps don't consider him 'world class'.
Balo's been out in his back garden again this though. After not being picked for Liverpool's tour of the Far East, we last week showed him practicising headers in his back garden whilst riding a Segway. After nailing the headers, it seems he's this week been working on his acrobatic celebrations...Robbie Keane, he is not.
Italian Football Story of the Week
- Parma Are Back
Parma have returned to Italian football, under the new name of 'Parma Calcio 1913'. The club will begin life in Serie D and hope to work their way back up to the top tier. The club's technical director, Lorenzo Minotti, told a press conference of the club's resurrection:
"There’s a lot of responsibility.
"There’s an obligation to win at all costs, and to get back into the professional Leagues, so that must always be present in the mind of the new people".
Minotti also mentioned captain Alessandro Lucarelli, who has opted to stay on at the club in spite of their misfortunes:
"He’s a rock which we can build the team on. I think he has made a choice to carve his name into the history of Parma.
"In recent years he’s become an adopted Parmigiano, he loves the club, and wants to stay a part of this institution. Whether his role is on the pitch or behind a desk is still to be decided.
"In the meantime, he’s the only player we have, he’s already training at Coverciano, where he’ll also try to get his coaching licence".
Artist's Impression of the Week
- 'Mean Mou'; Mourinho's been dishing out dietary tips this week.
Football Recommendation of the Week
- Ultimate Fantasy Premier League; Quite whether PremierLeague.com's latest fantasy football gimic takes off is questionable. Although 2015/16 will be it's second season, our recommendation this week comes as something which has not yet been tried out by us, but considering it would be too late for you to sign up if we waited until the Premier League season was underway to recommend it, we're getting in early. For the princely sum of £5, you can partake in what appears to be, extreme fantasy football: Pick a 25 man squad for the season to stand a chance of winning £25,000 at the end of it all. In theory, it sounds like it could be fun...
Non-Football Recommendation of the Week
- Black Mass: Official Trailer; It's been a while since Johnny Depp's name has been linked with a decent film but judging by this trailer, the Whitey Bulger-inspired 'Black Mass', could turn out to be his best work in a while.
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