Thursday 27 August 2015

Hoff & Clough

After a two week hiatus we're back. And to celebrate, this week's Football Circus includes a story about The Hoff. Yes, he and Yaya Toure have had something of a love in on Twitter this week. Two people who categorically did not have a love in however, are Sergio Aguero and Sergio Romero's wife, as we detail below. Meanwhile, Harry Redknapp has been reminiscing about Brian Clough and the old days; a Football Manager addict has gone to great lengths to meet his hero; and an Exeter City player had a  shot so bad that it almost ruined his relationship. We also report on a big week for Mario Balotelli and in our Italian Football Story of the week, Massimo Moratti looks back on what might have been for Inter Milan...


Football Circus Clown Quote of the Week
"Were you born bald, Steve?".
- Chris Kamara to Steve Stone on Goals on Sunday after seeing footage of a younger, bald Steve Stone.

Hasselhoff / Toure Love-In
Yaya Toure has become involved in a new bromance...and it's not with his agent. No, Yaya has this week been exchaning pleasantries with The Hoff of all people over the medium of Twitter.
The Baywatch legend made the first move by tweeting a photo to Toure which showed him wearing a 'Toure Yaya 42' shirt.
Toure then replied:
"Nice shirt Mr Knight Rider!!!".
So excited with his reply from the Ivorian was Hasselhoff that he tweeted and offer to Toure to star in his new documentary:
"Hey @Yaya toure We are shooting Hoff the record next week my second season . come be in the show? what a blast and take only an hour ?? The YayaRider! Lol".
Lol indeed Mr. Hasslehoff.

New Man United Keeper Romero Denies that his Wife Slept with Aguero
Having recently signed for Manchester United, you would think that Argentina goalkeeper Sergio Romero had enough on his plate trying to claim a first team place with the Red Devils. According to an Argentine television show however, Romero also has to contend with the fact that he would sharing a city with a man who had slept with his wife back in 2006 - Sergio Aguero. 
Romero however, clearly irked by the rumours of his wife's infidelity, took it upon himself to phone the television show and deny on air that there was any truth to them. Romero told the presenters:
"I have a great wife and a great family. It’s not nice when some people say this kind of stuff. 
"I’m friends with him for over 10 years, imagine that. I couldn’t talk to him, but for sure I’m going to call him. Listen, we’re friends".
Romero's wife, Eliana Guercio, has also denied the rumours:
"It is not true. I have never had anything with Aguero. It seems terrible to me that they could link me with Kun.
"This is over 10 years old and for 10 years I’ve had to keep denying that anything happened. I don’t even know Aguero".

Football Manager Addict Travels from Italy to Derry for Autograph
Football Manager fanatic Alessandro Colombini made headlines this week after travelling from Livorno in Italy to watch Derry City, the club he managed on Football Manager 2015. Three years previously, the young Italian had read a book about Bloody Sunday and has held an interest in the city of Derry ever since. On visiting the Brandywell, home of Derry City, Colombini made a point of tracking down striker Paddy McElroy for an autograph.
Colombini said of his adventure:
"I wanted to meet Patrick after the game because I wanted to tell him how good of a player he is for me in ‘Football Manager’. I told him I was from Italy and that he was brilliant in the game. I don’t think he knew how to react but he gave me his autograph and we had a good laugh about it. Paddy looked at me like I was an alien, he must have thought I was mad.
"I’ve been managing Derry City in ‘Football Manager’ for the last two or three years. I had my best season last year when I took Derry to the Champions League but AS Roma offered me the chance to come and manage them and as football fans know, when Roma ask, you must answer".

Clough 1, 'Arry 0
Last week saw Chelsea usurp Manchester United for the signing of Barcelona forward Pedro. Chelsea's move to secure a deal right under United's noses, got tongues wagging. One such tongue was Harry Redknapp, who, through his Evening Standard column, regaled readers with a similar transfer tale:
"One of the greatest examples I had was back in 1990 when manager of Bournemouth and I was going to sign Ian Woan from non-League Runcorn. I watched him twice in midweek — freezing cold nights — and we loved him. I met his dad, who was an ex-professional at Aldershot.
"We did a deal with Runcorn to buy Ian and he was supposed to come down on the Tuesday to sign. His dad, Alan, phoned me and said: 'I am working today so I can’t make it down. Can we come down in the morning? I really want to be there when my boy signs his first professional contract'.
"Ian’s dad didn’t really need to be there but I agreed. That night it was on Teletext that Woan was coming down to Bournemouth to sign for £40,000. Brian Clough was in his office with two of his backroom staff, Alan Hill and Ron Fenton, and he saw it on the television.
"Cloughie said: 'Bournemouth have a good record in signing non-League players. Who’s this Ian Woan?' None of them had any idea but Ron knew the Runcorn manager and he phoned him to ask if the deal was done.
"They were told it was happening the next day for £40,000. Cloughie immediately offered £80,000, got him down that night and signed him. I got a call at 11.30pm saying we’d missed out".

Exeter Player Breaks Girlfriend's Wrist with Poor Shot
Exeter City's David Wheeler had a truly woeful day on Saturday. His team lost 3-0 away at Northampton Town. But his misery didn't end there, for one of the winger's shots was so wayward that it went into the crowd and bizarrely managed to break his own girlfriend's wrist. Wheeler's shocking shot went into the away stand at Northampton's Sixfields stadium and his girlfriend Alice Woodyatt attempted to stop it, only to fracture her wrist in the process.
Woodyatt told The Sun:
"I love to watch David play for Exeter and took all of my family to the game – including my grandad who is David’s biggest fan.
"David didn’t know the ball had hit me and I didn’t want to make a fuss.
"I didn’t realise how bad it was straight away so I sat and watched the first half – but by the second half I thought maybe something had happened.
"People are amazed I stayed to the end but David has been playing well and I wanted to watch him no matter what.
"It was just a freak accident. I can laugh about it now and all of our family have had a good laugh.
"What are the chances of something like that happening? It’s just one of those things".
Wheeler himself said of the incident in his Exeter Express & Echo column:
"I knew one of [my shots] and one of the other lads’ shots went near but when I looked over she was obviously putting on a brave face.
"We later found it was a wrist break. I’m amazed that Alice managed to watch the whole game in that much pain".

What's Mad Mario Upto this Week?
Aaaaand that's the end of that chapter...for now at least. Yes, Super Mario's exit from Liverpool was finally confirmed this week as he agreed a two year loan contract with AC Milan. The move sees the striker return to the club who sold him to Liverpool last summer. There is apparently, a caveat however. Rumour has it that Milan, acutely aware of Balotelli's track record, have inserted a clause into his contract which dictates that Balotelli must not do anything that damages the image of the club. Furthermore, extravagant haircuts and clothing are said to be banned, his social media accounts will be monitored and he must be seen to lead a healthy lifestyle. That should be interesting.
Balo himself has taken to his Facebook account to bid farewell to the Liverpool fans:
"I’m grateful to Liverpool FC and Liverpool fans for the time and opportunities you gave me. It’s not a goodbye but rather a farewell. I’ll be supporting you guys all the way in every competition… unless you face AC Milan".
Of his return to Milan, Balotelli told the official AC Milan website:
"I am happy to be back. I don't have much to say because I just need to train and prove myself. Physically I am fit, but I need to train with the squad. I am very motivated but I need to work hard and talk less. I always hoped I would return to Milan, the club hold a special place in my heart. Do I want to end my career here? I just want to get back to work and have a good season, I have to work and that is it".

Italian Football Story of the Week
- Moratti Reveals Inter Almost signed Cantona and Totti
Former Inter Milan president Massimo Moratti has this week admitted that the Bianconi almost signed Manchester United great Eric Cantona and Roma legend Francesco Totti, during his time in charge of the club. Speaking to Sport Mediaset Premium this week, Moratti was asked which players he would have liked to sign when he was president. Moratti revealed:
"The first is Eric Cantona. We’d have started winning earlier with him, as Cantona would change everything.
"I was at the stadium when Cantona kicked that fan and I said to myself negotiations would be useful, as maybe Manchester United would’ve released him after that gesture.
"We were about to sign him and then, because of a misunderstanding with someone, he didn’t come.
"Then there’s Totti. We had the chance to negotiate for him because his contract was running down, but truth be told Roma would never have let him go.
"I tried to sign Roberto Mancini from Sampdoria, but President Paolo Mantovani considered him like a son and almost started crying when he thought about letting him go.
"Then one day Mancini sent me an Inter jersey with a Scudetto badge stitched on to it. He wrote that if one day I thought of him, we’d win.
“I was very impressed and a little later on I hired him as a Coach”.

Artist's Impression of the Week
- 'Guess Who's Back...'; Balo returns to the San Siro.

Football Recommendation of the Week
- 3-Sided Football; Devised by a Danish intellectual, 3-sided football has apparently been around since the early 1960's. It might be a little too much for us simple folk at Football Circus to grasp, but imagine Barcelona vs. Bayern Munich vs. Juventus in next year's Champions League final...Minds blown!

Non-Football Recommendation of the Week
- Foil, Arms & Hog; Dublin comedy trio whose sketches are imaginative and bloody hilarious.
http://www.foilarmsandhog.ie/

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Thursday 13 August 2015

War Games

This week saw the return of football and Jose Mourinho engage in some casual workplace sexism (allegedly). We won't concern ourselves with such frivolous matters though. We're more concerned with Angel Di Maria's written battle with Manchester United fans; Paulo Wanchope's fight with a security guard in Panama; and a shooting in Turkey. Mario Balotelli has been celebrating his 25th birthday and in Italy, financial irregularities have been called into question in Italy again...



Football Circus Clown Quote of the Week
"For me, that's not for me".
- Regular Clown Quote of the Week contributor, Paul Merson.

United Fan's Open Letter to Di Maria
Angel Di Maria wrote an open letter to Manchester United fans on his departure from the club. The letter was met with a widely critical reception from United fans, with many believing the letter was insincere and many even suggesting that Di Maria did not actually write the letter, rather had a member of his PR team write it on his behalf. The letter noted:
"When Manchester United chose me as part of their team, I felt extremely honoured because I knew what this club means and how it trusted me.
"Nevertheless, I'm aware things didn't work as we all expected and believe me, I feel really sorry about it.
"I can guarantee you it was not for trying. I did my best but football is not like maths: often a lot of things out of our control affect the way we feel and the way things turn out".
Now, a United fan has taken to Twitter to write a letter of his own to Di Maria, on behalf of all United supporters. The embarrassingly named but skilled letter writer, 'Stevie G's Red Card', wrote the following:

Costa Rica Manager Wanchope Fights in Stands
Derby legend and current Costa Rica manager Paulo Wanchope faces an uncertain future in charge of his country's national team after he was this week exposed for fighting in the stands at an Under 23 match against Panama. 
Wanchope was in Panama City to watch the Under 23 team play a 2016 Olympic qualifier. Unhappy with the referee, the manager marched down the stands in an effort access the pitch and argue with the match official. He swung open a gate to do so and pushed  a ball boy out of the way.
He wasn't finished there though. Before he could make it past the gate, a security guard approached from Wanchope's left. The incenced manager turned around and punched the security guard, only for the security guard to retaliate, resulting in the pair brawling. Unfortunately for Wanchope, the whole thing was caught on camera and quickly uploaded to YouTube. 

Lucky Escape for Fenerbache Player Topal After Car Shot At
Turkish footballer Mehmet Topal had a lucky escape this week after his car was shot at. Topal had been training for his side Fenerbache and while travelling home with youth player, Mert Zeybek, his vehicle was shot at by an unknown gunman near a tollbooth. 
Luckily for the players, the car's windscreen was bulletproof and prevented either of the two being harmed. Worryingly however, it is thought the shooting may have been carried out by a rival. fan. Last April, the Fenerbache team bus was shot at while on its way to Trabzon airport. 
Fenerbache said of the shooting:
"This was a terrorist attack. We condemn these armed attacks on our players and hope justice will prevail. Our players Mehmet Topal and Uygar Mert Zeybek were fortunate to be travelling in a vehicle with bulletproof glass which prevented serious injury".

What's Mad Mario Upto this Week?
Balo has come in for criticism this week from fellow Italian and former West Ham striker, Paolo Di Canio. Also known as a bit of a hot head and seen as somewhat mercurial, Di Canio has made the bold prediction that Balotelli's career could be over. In an interview with Fox Sports Italia, Di Canio stated:
"I’m talking as a Coach.
"I think at some point you have to realise what it means to play with your teammates, sharing good and bad moments and it doesn’t seem like he is doing that. 
"Many coaches have tried to change him. Mancini has been like a father to him, but even he won’t reunite with him at Inter.
"Mourinho understood immediately, he’s good at understanding players, and he realised that he could change him. Now he hasn’t got anyone to rely on.
"He’s still young, he’s physically strong, and he’s an incredible athlete, but he’s never taken advantage of his great potential.
"Sometimes in football you think you can just hog the ball, show off in some way and let your teammates run for you, but you can’t, football is about sacrifice, and a bond with your teammates.
"That doesn’t mean off the pitch in a bar, but being generous on the pitch. I hope he’ll recover, but I can imagine it’ll be very difficult, as he spends to much time on social media.
"It seems like he uses football to be a celebrity, rather than the opposite".
Di Canio could well have a point. Balo has posted no less than nine photos and two videos of himself to Instagram this week, including one in which he compares himself with Michael Jordan. He's got some catching up to do if he wants to be seen in the same light as the basketball legend. 
One video uploaded featured Super Mario being covered in champagne, as he this week celebrated his 25th birthday. It would seem he still has an awful lot of growing up to do.

Italian Football Story of the Week
- Napoli President De Laurentiis Lambasts Lack of Financial Checks in Serie A
Napoli president Aurelio De Laurentiis has been on his soap box again this week, this time to criticise the lack of 'book checking' in Italy. De Laurentiis claims to have always been extremely vigilant when checking the books of Napoli, having taken over the side when they were bankrupt and plying their trade in Serie C. However in an interview with Corriere dello Sport, it seems De Laurentiis fears other clubs are not monitoring their own finances and he blames FIGC  (the Italian football federation) president Carlo Tavecchio.
Said De Laurentiis:
"I am happy that important clubs like Milan, Inter, Fiorentina and Roma are strengthening their squads, but there is a problem.
"Nobody is checking the books at the Federation and Carlo Tavecchio is responsible for that, as his predecessor was in the past.
"Tavecchio told me there are three, at most six, Serie A clubs who have balanced books. In Serie B it’s a disaster. This is a bad way to progress.
"Michel Platini’s Financial Fair Play is uneven, didn’t last long and is fairly malleable anyway".

Artist's Impression of the Week
 - 'Super Mario Turns 25'; Balo celebrates birthday in style.

Football Recommendation of the Week
- First-Time Gaming Mums' Premier League Predictions (Marathon Bet); As entertaining as it is bizarre, this Marathon Bet promo pits two mothers against each other on FIFA 2015 as they play out the opening day Premier League fixtures. 

Non Football Recommendation of the Week
- The Masterplan (Oasis); Maybe we've been too busy this week but nothing has caught our attention enough to recommend. We have however, rediscovered this great album by Oasis. Hard to believe the album is comprised completely of B-sides, especially considering some of the drivel they pumped out later in their careers.

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You can also contact us at footballcircus@gmail.com