You want more bloody David Moyes news? You want the latest team news for the second leg of the Champions League semi-finals? The latest on Barcelona's transfer ban appeal? No you ruddy well don't. You want to hear magical tales of Burger King mocking footballers, international managers making silly errors, US police officers beating fans of a girls high school team and the diva-like demands of overpaid men who chase a ball for a living. And you've come to the right place. Welcome to this week's Football Circus. Now read you mugs!
Mess with Gignac? Whopper Mistake
France and Marseille striker Andre Pierre Gignac is not a happy man...For he has been nationally ridiculed in his home country...by Burger King!
Gignac is often the subject of mockery in France due to his stocky build. In fact even fans of his own club, Marseille, are known to poke fun, singing "A Big Mac for Gignac". In spite of his physique, or perhaps because of it, he is currently of Ligue 1's top scorers. So the striker could be excused for thinking the jibes may ease. Unfortunately for Gignac however, fast food giants Burger King have attempted to capitalise on the "Big Mac for Gignac" song, by releasing an ad with a slogan of their own - "A Whopper for Gignac".
According to reports in the French media, Gignac has failed to see the funny side and after teammates stuck some of the posters up in the dressing room, he is said to be contemplating legal action against Burger King.
Carless Quieroz
David Moyes may not be the only former Man United coach that springs to mind this week for serious lapses in judgement. Regardless, Fergie's former number two, now managing the Iranian national team, has been left rather red-faced after failing to review a fixture list.
In preparation for his side's participation in this summer's World Cup, Queiroz arranged a training camp for the team in South Africa. Nothing wrong with that, in fact he could even be commended for his efforts.
Queiroz called up 28 plyaers to the squad. However, only eleven of the players called up will be able to partake. Not only are many of the team's European based players still playing out their respective teams' seasons, players from Asian sides Esteghlal, Tractor Sazi, Foolad and Sepahan will not be present due to their involvement in the Asian Champions League - a factor which Queiroz seemingly failed to consider.
Nonetheless, the training camp will run for 23 days and Queiroz is hopeful that more players will join up with the squad once their club sides' seasons finish up.
US High School Students attacked by Police
US sawcer fans aren't exactly known for their hooliganism or unruly behaviour. So it may come as a surprise to learn that a police officer in Texas took it upon himself to attack fans of a girls' high school soccer team who ran onto the pitch to celebrate their teams victory.
Youtube footage surfaced this week, of crazed cop George Bermudez of the Georgetown Police Department, who tripped and pushed students from Vandegrift High School after their side won the state championship. Local media have been quick to pick up on the story and Bermudez has now been placed on administrative leave.
Captain Rowland Waits of the police department told NY Daily News:
"I want to stress to the community that this behavior is not in line with the way we want to conduct business.
"Know that we take complaints like this seriously".
Dear Brazil, this World Cup We'd Like...
Brazilian sports website Lancenet.com have somehow gotten their hands on a list of hotel and training demands made by a number of the sides partipating in this summer's World Cup. Most seem pretty reasonable we're sure you'll agree, but as you'll see below, some are slightly out of left field, even extravagent (we're looking your way Japan):
Algeria: Copy of the Koran in the rooms of every player.
Australia: Large coffee makers. Newspapers from around the world to be available daily.
Chile: New beds and new flatscreen televisions in the rooms of every player.
Colombia: Fifteen youth team players to be provided by Sao Paulo to provide assistance and partake in training matches if necessary.
Costa Rica: A large leisure room with sofas, televisions and video games.
Ecuador: The provision of a fresh bunch of Ecuadorian bananas to be put in every player's room daily. A traditional Ecuadorian barbeque to be provided on the players' arrival to the hotel.
France: Liquid soaps as the French, apparently, have a dislike for soap bars. Kosher food for their Muslim players. A leisure room with video games.
Honduras: Six Spanish-language television channels for the players' rooms, including two Honduran channels. High speed wi-fi. Some bedrooms to be converted into offices for coaching staff.
Iran: The assistance of Corinthians including their cleaning staff (Carlos Queiroz has worked with their manager Edu Gaspar - Let's just hope for Queiroz's sake that Gaspar is good with fixture lists).
Japan: Individual rooms for the players at Sport Spa resort in Itu, where each room will have a jacuzzi tub.
Portugal: Each room to have a video games console
Switzerland: High speed internet. Six Swiss television channels in the players' rooms. A studio to be constructed beside Muta beach where the team are staying, which can host exclusive player interviews.
Uruguay: Silent air conditioners for each player's rooms. Large walls to be constructed around their training facilities to prevent the media and fans from viewing their sessions.
What's Mad Mario Upto this Week?
Balotelli had a particularly successful weekend, with a goal and an assist for Milan against Livorno in Serie A, helping them to a 3-0 victory. The win meant Milan go within five points of city rivals Inter and should they overtake them will gain a Europa League spot. If that wasn't enough, the goal took Balo's tally for the season to 14 league goals, the best he has ever racked up in his career to date. Said Balotelli of the feat:
"I'm happy to have reached the record but I have to improve, because there are players that score 40 in a season".
He was also questioned about the pressure manager Clarence Seedorf is under at AC Milan, with rumours that his job is under threat:
"I didn't know anything about that.
"The coach has given a big hand to the squad...But this is still nothing. It's just a great result. We're playing to qualify for the Europa League".
Meanwhile, Milan teammate Nigal De Jong has hailed Balotelli to being akin to a Ferrari.
Speaking to Forza magazine, De Jong said:
"In my view, Balotelli can be compared to a Ferrarri.
"He is powerful and unpredictable".
Italian Football Story of the Week
- Mourinho back to Inter?
Jose Mourinho's second tenure at Chelsea has not been seen in quite the same light as his first spell. Despite the team still challenging for both the Premier League and Champions League, Mourinho looks a shadow of his former self and seems more prone to outbursts than ever before. No surprise then, that he has been linked with a possible move up north to take over the now manager-less Manchester United. Speaking with Tele Lombardia however, honourary Inter Milan president Massimo Moratti has admitted that he often muses over whether Mourinho could be tempted back to Milan:
"I often think we could bring back Jose rather than buying lots of players, but it requires common sense.
"We also mustn’t forget he only arrived because of Roberto Mancini’s post-Liverpool outburst. It was difficult to tell Mancini we had signed another Coach while the Scudetto celebrations were going on.
"Mourinho confirmed his great professionalism. I warned him we’d need to wait for Mancini and he said he’d remain at my disposal without contacting other clubs. He kept his word.
"Jose did not find satisfaction at Real Madrid, but now he is at Chelsea, another club he is fond of. I know that he’d come back here to Inter. He can’t right now, but maybe he’ll arrive later on after Walter Mazzarri, who is another very good Coach, has won three Scudetti".
Artist's Impression of the Week
- 'Footballers Compile Brazil 2014 Wishlist'
Football Recommendation of the Week
- You are the Ref; "Cult classic cartoon strip" by Paul Trevillion which first debuted as far back as 1957.
Non-Football Recommendation of the Week
- Frank; "Offbeat comedy about a young wannabe musician, Jon (Domhnall Gleeson), who finds himself out of his depth when he joins an avant-garde pop band led by the mysterious and enigmatic Frank (Michael Fassbender), a musical genius who hides himself inside a large fake head, and his terrifying bandmate Clara (Maggie Gyllenhaal)".
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