Friday 4 September 2015

Of Mice and Man U

Football Circus comes on a Friday this week, a day later than usual just to give you all a little time to digest a truly crazy transfer deadline day and prepare for a weekend of international fixtures. Speaking of transfer deadline day, Manchester United featured quite prominently and they indeed feature this week on Football Circus - The club have had some unwelcome visitors and their fans have bizarrely linked their side with Nostradamus. We also report on a journalist's encounter with Zlatan Ibrahimovic and a deadline day deal that almost had deadly consequences...



Football Circus Clown Quote of the Week
"In football, happiness lasts three or four days. Sex, on the other hand, can last just one minute".
 - Sergio Busquets on a Spanish TV show this week. And they say women only marry footballers for money and fame.

United Left Red Faced After Mice Infestation
David De Gea wasn't the only one having difficulty finding the exit door at Old Trafford this week, for Manchester United apparently have a problem with mice. 
A hygiene report conducted by fcbusiness back in January found that the Red Devils needed to "monitor mouse activity". At the time, United responded through a club spokesperson:
"Manchester United implements a robust pest-control system throughout Old Trafford. As the report acknowledges, weekly checks are made in all catering areas and stringent measures are taken to ensure high levels of hygiene and cleanliness wherever food is stored, prepared and served. If incidences of this nature do occur at the stadium, immediate and appropriate action will be taken".
It wasn't the first time mice have been found at Old Trafford as they had problems in 2010 and 2012. Burton Albion players even claimed to have seen mice running across the pitch when they took on United at Old Trafford in 2006 in an F.A. Cup clash.
And now they're back. Hygiene inspectors from Trafford Council have filed a report which notes:
"You are failing to implement adequate procedures to control pests within the food areas. It is suggested that we arrange a meeting to discuss these requirements and the way forward.
"The doors from the Red Cafe into the kitchen have holes at the bottom and in the middle of the two doors and could allow pests into the food room. These doors should be repaired or replaced. The drain in the middle of the … back of the Red Cafe kitchen is not adequately covered to prevent pests gaining access to the kitchen via the drain.
"All food rooms should be inspected for possible pest entry points".
Looks like an abundance of goalkeepers isn't the only problem United have right now.

Did Nostradamus Predict Manchester United's Transfer Window?
Football fans these days are often guilty of reading too much into things. Every tiny detail will be scrutinised and over-analysed as fans try to suck up as much information about their club as possible. Take the folk over on the Manchester United Reddit page for example. They've posted a graphic which they claim shows that Nostradamus predicted their club's transfer window activity. Some of it is certainly a bit, come on, really??

Don't Mess with the Zlatan
If there's one thing a football journalist should, it's that you shouldn't get on the wrong side of Zlatan Ibrahimovic. That's something that Swedish journalist Olof Lundh learned to his detriment this week.
Ahead of Sweden's Euro 2016 qualifier with Russia, Lundh thought a pre-match press conference would be the perfect opportunity to give Ibra a grilling over his clothing line and new aftershave. Unimpressed with the questions, Ibrahimovic responded:
"I’m not allowed to earn money according to you. 
"Every time something happens you say: ‘Doesn’t he have enough money?’ Isn’t that true?.
"I get an extra kick if (my business deals) hurts you".
Somehow we think Mr. Lundh will think twice before posing a question to Zlatan again.

Almost Deadly Deadline Day - Player Crashes Car on way to Seal Transfer
Transfer deadline day is becoming more and more dangerous. David De Gea and Florentino Perez will likely agree that the summer 2015 deadline day wasn't good for their health. They should spare thought though for new Middlesbrough signing, Carlos de Pena. Uruguayan winger De Pena had made his way to Montevideo airport in order to rush through a deadline day glamour move to Middlesbrough. However as his club, Nacional, had not yet signed off on the deal, De Pena had to cancel his plane ticket and return from the airport.
En route home from the airport with his mother in the passenger seat, De Pena's car was crashed into. Luckily all involved escaped unharmed. In a further twist, De Pena's move to Boro was resuscitated and he quickly had to get back into the car and return to the airport! The move went through as De Pena's fortunes turned around but things could have been very different.
South American football correspondent Tim Vickery told the BBC:
"On Monday, the club got a call from his agent saying he is on his way to England. The player drove off and promptly got himself in a car accident with him and his mother in the car.
"Nothing serious as he was allowed out of hospital pretty soon after and he left his mum there, went back to the airport and flew to Middlesbrough.
"I can’t remember anyone being so desperate to get to Middlesbrough since Chris Rea was driving home for Christmas".

What's Mad Mario Upto this Week?
Mario Balotelli is barely back at AC Milan a wet weekend and already the negativity that surrounded him at Liverpool is disappearing. Despite being an unused substitiute during Milan's 2-1 victory over Empoli at the weekend, Balotelli has already earned the praise of Milan CEO Adirano Galliani. Galliani has claimed the striker, who looked completely disinterested at Liverpool, is the first to arrive at training and the last to leave. Speaking to Gazzetta dello Sport, Galliani said:
"Balotelli turns up on time and is even early. He opens the gates of the Milanello.
"He is the first to arrive and the last to leave. I'm thinking about giving him the keys.
"He is a great player, but it depends on where his mind is. He seems to be matured, aware this is his last chance".
Not all his focus has gone into his football however on his return to Milan. 
Super Mario has been organising passports for his dogs to follow him over from Liverpool. The two Staffordshire bull terriers, brilliantly named Luigi and Bowser, were found by the striker at a rescue centre in January having been part of an abandoned litter of six. 
A friend of Balotelli's told the Sunday People:
"Mario wants the dogs to go to Italy. It’s relatively straightforward because as they were dogs from an RSPCA centre, they were micro-chipped and given their ­injections before Mario was able to take them home".
Meanwhile, a handwriting expert has 'revealed' that Balo wants to return to the womb. Candida Livatino told Sportsmediaset:
"The signature of Mario Balotelli is very interesting and it says a lot about him.
"The ‘B’ is very large and paunchy to the point that it contains all the rest of the surname. It puts in evidence a dichotomy in his personality.
"On one hand, he wants to be noticed and to make it happen he exaggerates his transgressive behaviours, but on the other hand he protects himself inside a shell like he would like to come back in the womb".

Italian Football Story of the Week
- Garcia Deems Juve Conquerors the Ones that He Wants
Sounding just like Olivia Newton John, Roma coach Rudi Garcia was full of praise for his Roma side that beat title rivals Juventus 2-1 at the weekend. In an interview with Mediaset Premium, the manager delighted:
"This is the Roma that I wanted.
"This is the Roma that produced great football for my first 18 months at the club. The collective desire of everyone in the team, including those on the bench, gave us extra strength.
"We knew that we had great players, even if in defence I was limited in my choices. I didn’t want Lucas Digne to start, because he hadn’t played since July, but he knows my football well.
"I always think of the collective and am above all happy for my players. We could’ve done a lot better when 2-0 up against 10 men, as after the opening goal we forgot to press Juve. Until then the pressing had been perfect.
"It is just the start of the season, so this type of performance indicates the path we need to follow. We hope to smile like this throughout the campaign. It’s a good start, for now.
"We had prepared to put pressure on Giorgio Chiellini and Martin Caceres, which helped us to win back some very interesting balls.
"We knew that when Roma play one-touch football, it increases the quality in attack and that is how to beat a strong Juve side".

Artist's Impression of the Week
- Angry Ibra; Red mist descends on Ibrahimovic after journalist's questions.

Football Recommendation of the Week
- Football Shirt Collective; Buy and sell Football Shirts. Simple as that. A great idea and a brilliant website if you're trying to track down a hard-to-come- by jersey.



Non-Football Recommendation of the Week
- Straight Outta Compton; Straight outta Compton and straight onto Football Circus as our non-football recommendation of the week, this N.W.A. biopic does not disappoint. Entertaining from start to finish and with a stellar performance from Jason Mitchell as Eazy-E, Straight Outta Compton will have you getting all nostalgic for a time when gang violence was at it's peak in California.


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