Thursday 16 April 2015

Germaniacs

It's been a woeful week for German football. Jurgen Klopp's announcement that he will step down as Borussia Dortmund manager was followed by an unexpected defeat for Bayern Munich in the Champions League by Porto. But there were more problems for the Germans this week as detailed by Football Circus - Bayer Leverkusen parted ways with Emir Spahic after he head-butted a security guard and bottom-placed Bundesliga side HSV's players seem to have lost the plot! We also feature some porn stars (maybe we should have used that as our opener to peak your interest) and your weekly fix of Balotelli and Italian football.


Football Circus Clown Quote of the Week
"Bentley's playing like  a Rolls Royce, living up to his name".
- Leroy Rosenior, take a bow.

You Nutter! Leverkusen Defender Sacked for Head-butt on Security Guard
Bayer Leverkusen have parted ways with Bosnia-Herzegovina defender Emir Spahic after he planted a head-butt on a security-guard. 
Following his team's home defeat to Bayern Munich, Spahic was seen getting into an altercation with security guards before a brawl broke out, during which the head-butt was dished out. Spahic had allegedly gotten into an argument with his club's security staff after friends of his were told they could not enter the dressing room. 
After footage emerged of the incident, Leverkusen were left with no choice but to give Spahic his marching orders. Managing director Michael Schade stated:
"The latest revelations from the case last Wednesday leave us no other choice.
"After video evidence emerged that shocked and upset all of us, we could not wait for the outcome of the legal investigation or a possible criminal case, but had to think about the club’s immediate response.
"We sat down with Emir and found an amicable solution. Emir regrets his actions and is very sorry.
"We wish him all the best for his future path".
Spahic himself has seemingly seen the error of his ways and has issued a public apology:
"I regret my behaviour.
"I want to apologise to those involved and their families. I know I’ve also caused the club huge problems.
"It was a great honour to be part of this brilliant team. I wish my friends in the team and the whole club, as well as Bayer Leverkusen’s outstanding fans, the very best for the great future that lies ahead of this club".

Shamburg - Things go from Bad to Worse for HSV
Hamburg SV are struggling in the Bundesliga, sitting bottom of the league with relegation looking to be a real possibility. And the cracks are very much starting to show. At half time in their clash with Wolfsburg (who ran out 2-0 winners), former Arsenal defender Johan Djourou became embroiled in a fist fight with fellow Swiss international Valon Behrami in the HSV dressing room.
The club CEO Dietmar Beiersdorfer later told Bild:
"There was a clash. Anybody who broke discipline will be punished".
After the same game, HSV midfielder Lewis Holtby, on loan from Tottenham, reacted angrily to supporters of the team who questioned his dedication. Holtby confronted the fans and was caught on camera telling the fans:
"I'm staying as well!
"Yes, I'll stay!
"You can't say that, man!
"I don't want to relegate with HSV!
"I tell you one thing, I will work my ass off and I am working my ass off!
"Come watch us at practice...look at what I'm doing!
"I'm trying to work my ass off, but I'm also just a human, you know?
"I have some good matches. Sometimes I have a sh** match as well!
"I don't know, man.
"I was injured. I'm fighting my way back in".
Well, at least he cares!

Porn Stars in Slutty Behaviour Shocker
Porn 'actresses' Vittoria Risi and Tera Patrick visited Venice recently and revealed to Gazzetta dello Sport that they both support Juventus. During the interview, Risi claimed she will strip if Juventus go on to win the Champions League (Surely that's like a post man promising to deliver a letter?!).
Stated Risi:
"Strip if we win the cup? Undressing, you know, for me is not a problem…".
She went on to divulge her less than insightful thoughts on some of the current Juve squad:
"Tevez looks straight out of a painting by Gauguin, Pirlo by Mantegna.
"Vidal and Pogba are an example of aggressive temperament.
"Antonio Conte was very sexy, but also Massimiliano Allegri is a handsome man, in addition to having proven to be a capable coach".
Meanwhile, Dynamo Moscow striker Alexander Kokorin, has had the gauntlet thrown down to him by Russian porn star Alina Henessy, who has promised a sixteen hour 'sex marathon' should Kokorain score five more goals this season.
Henessy told Eurosport:
"Football is like porn because it is full of pretty boys.
"If before the end of the championship Alexander Kokorin scores five goals, I promise to hold a 16-hour sex marathon with him as a thank you".
Sounds like more than a wham-bam-thank you Korkorin.

What's Mad Mario Upto this Week?
Finally, Balotelli's nightmare spell at Liverpool may be coming to an end. Balotelli has this week been linked with a return back to Italy, though not back either Milan side. Sampdoria president Massimo Ferrero has told Gazzetta dello Sport:
"I would take him - he'd be the real Balotelli again here.
"He wouldn't have too much pressure here in Genoa.
"He's lost his hunger.
"He's earning too much. If he was only on bread and water, he'd be a champion again".
Earlier in week however, Balo nailed his colours to the mast as his former side Man City took on their rivals Man United at Old Trafford. City get off to a flying start with Sergio Aguero making it 1-0 early on in the fixture. Balo was quick to tweet his support for his former team.
His tweeting quickly subsided however, as United went on to hammer City 4-2 on the day.

Italian Football Story of the Week
- Milan to be Bought by Chinese?
With AC Milan in dire straits financially, talk is rife in Italy that the club could be subject to a bid from Chinese investor Fu Yixiang, as Silvio Berlusconi and his family look to sell the club. 
In an interview with Libero, the Chinese business man did little to play down the rumours:
"China has chosen Milan because it’s a great club.
"All the main investors are linked to the football world. The Wanda group bought TV rights company Infront, Jack Ma of Alibaba owns 50 per cent of Guangzhou Evergrande, which had Marcello Lippi as Coach and now Fabio Cannavaro.
"The Huawei group is a very active brand in sponsorship and already partners Milan. They’d all have the possibility of buying the club outright, but do not currently have the determination to conduct the operation by themselves.
"A Milan side built by the Chinese people could become an unstoppable star in the football world".
Milan legend Ruud Gullit has spoke out in favour of a buyout. Gullit told Gazzetta dello Sport:
"It could be a good thing. At the end of the day, why be shocked?  Look at England – lots of teams are owned by foreigners".

Artist's Impression of the Week
- 'Naked Old Lady'; Juventus supporting porn star promises to strip if they win Champions League.

Football Recommendation of the Week
- The Football Ramble; Claiming to be 'The most entertaining voice in football', the Football Ramble is certainly a podcast that is in with a shout of that title. Running since 2007, 'the Ramble' doesn't take itself overly-seriously and this lends itself to a 'just the lads talking football' vibe. Well worth a listen if you're in search of a new podcast to latch on to.

Non-Football Recommendation of the Week
- Bob Moses; If you happen to find yourself at a gig which you have drunkenly stumbled upon, paid €15 at the door yet have no clue who in fact you're paying to see, you'd do a lot worse than to discover it is in fact Bob Moses. An impressive deep house /electronica duo from Canada.

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You can also contact us at footballcircus@gmail.com. 

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