This week on Football Circus we have some casual polygamy, German comedy, a pitch invader on a mission in Mexico and one scared Gerard Pique. Add to the mix your weekly Mario Balotelli update and some history being made in our Italian Football Story of the week, and you have yourselves yet another edition of the freakiest football blog there is!
Football Circus Clown Quote of the Week
"He’s got the body of an office worker".
- Mark Lawrenson on Mezut Ozil. Right you are Mark.
Tiote Marries Second Wife, Enrages Mistress
Newcastle United midfielder Cheick Tiote has married a second wife, much to the chagrin of his mistress who also happens to be the mother of one of his children. Confused? So are we.
Tiote is a practicing Muslim and is allowed multiple wives. His first wife is Madah, with whom he has two children. He also has a one year old child with Nikki Mpofu, who is said to have been the player's mistress. He has this week married his second wife, Doukrou Laeticia, in the Ivory Coast. However Mpofu is none too impressed with the father of her child, after expecting that it would be her who would become wife number 2.
The Sun allege that Mpofu told a friend:
"He met my mum and said he’s permitted to have several wives. I was comfortable with that. He’s used me like a mop. He’s just a pig".
Regardless, Tiote's agent, Jean Musampa, has defended his player's religious right to marry a second wife to the Newcastle Chronicle:
"I can say that he did get married and that it is his second marriage.
"This is nothing unusual. He is a Muslim.".
German Players See Funny Side of Kramer's Cranium Injury at World Cup
Most football fans will recall Germany star Christoph Kramer's World Cup final coming to a rather abrupt end after he became concussed following a collision with Argentina's Ezequiel Garay. He was subbed off after just 30 minutes, looking rather dazed and confused.
On Saturday, a number of his international teammates appeared on a German comedy show and recalled / poked fun at Kramer's misfortune.
Manuel Neuer said:
"He was fine until I saw him acting strange. Then he turned to me and said 'Manu, let play as the goalkeeper' ".
Philipp Lahm noted:
"I wasn't worried at first, he played normally. But it started when he came to me and said he wanted to take the captain's armband from my arm. I thought 'What's going on here?'. When he wanted to trade shirts with the ref I thought, 'That's enough now' ".
Thomas Muller then got in on the act:
"Until now you only know that he asked me if this is the final but sadly that's only the most harmless thing that happened. He called me 'Gerd' and congratulated me on the final in '74. When the crowd was really loud he told me 'great atmosphere here in the Ruhr Stadium!'. It was important that he was subbed off because nobody knows what else he would've done. Maybe taken off the ref's panties".
So there you have it. Efficient, German comedy. We do wonder though, would they have taken part in such tomfoolery had they been beaten by Argentina?
Ronaldinho Signs Jersey of Star Struck Pitch Invader
You can say a lot of things about Ronaldinho but he has this week put himself forward as one of the most obliging footballers around. Ronnie took part in his new side Queretaro's match against Atlas in the Mexican Liga MX but was left slightly bemused when approached by a pitch invader in the middle of play.
The fan, clearly in awe of the Brazilian superstar, had come well equipped and was on mission when he made in onto the field. Within moments of getting to Ronaldinho, he presented him with a pen and held his jersey, before asking the player to sign his autograph on the jersey.
The former Barca man had no problems being interrupted and duly scribbled away, before the fan was taken away by security. The fan could very likely be now banned from the stadium, but he'll always have his Ronaldinho autograph!
Please Don't Pique On Me! Barca Defender Not Keane on Ex-United Teammate
In an interview with FourFourTwo this week, Spain and Barcelona defender has harked back to a time when he wasn't quite the fearless international at the heart of the Barca backline. The 27 year old Catalan has revealed that back when he was a youngster playing for Man United, one Roy Keane was a dressing room presence who was more feared than even Sir Alex Ferguson himself.
Pique said of Fergie:
"I wouldn't say I was scared of him".
He continued, however:
"Roy Keane? Well, maybe that's different".
"I remember we were in the changing room at Old Trafford and my phone started vibrating. Keano could hear the vibrations and went crazy trying to find out who the phone belonged to. That’s who he was".
Surely now though, years on and with Keane merely an assistant manager and pundit, Pique's fears of yore have subsided? Apparently not.
The World Cup winner went on to say:
"Before we beat Celtic 1-0 last season, I noticed him by the side of the pitch as a pundit as we went to warm up. I hid my face with my hand because he still scares me. I was 26 years old, and I was sh*tting myself!".
Perhaps current Barca manager Luis Enrique will now consider employing Keane as his number two if he feels Pique's performances are on the wane.
What's Mad Mario Upto this Week?
It's been another woeful week for Balotelli and Liverpool. The Merseyside derby finished 1-1 on Saturday. Not an altogether awful result. But with the Reds playing at home and having been 1-0 up only to concede a late equaliser, the Koppites will have been disappointed, especially given their poor results in the league prior to the game. Balo missed a sitter in that particular encounter. Fast forward to Wednesday's Champions League game away to Basel, and the Scouse side found themselves on the wrong end of a 1-0 scoreline.
It would certainly seem to be a case of 'so far so underwhleming' as far as Balotelli's Liverpool career has gone thus far. One man not keen on the striker is former Liverpool manager Roy Evans.
Speaking with TalkSport, Evans had the following to say:
"He has a way about him on the pitch that doesn’t exactly endear himself to everybody.
"Suarez was the opposite. He could light the game up and he could bring everybody along with him and they would put the same effort in as Suarez did.
"His style of play and the way he lumbers though a game, maybe that is catching".
Balo seemingly remains unperturbed by his critics however and rather than putting in extra hours on the training ground, he has busied himself posting videos to Instagram, of himself inhaling helium and chanting for Liverpool.
Italian Football Story of the Week
- Totti Makes History Against City
Roma's Francesco Totti made history on Tuesday night, scoring against Premier League champions Manchester City, to become the oldest scorer in Champions League history. To add to his achievement, it was the first time the striker had ever scored in England.
Totti said of the his feat and the team's victory:
“In all honesty, I wasn’t thinking about it. I always think of the team more than myself, that’s what kept me going so long. When I score for the team, then the personal records come as a consequence.
"Looking at the whole 90 minutes we had the clearer opportunities and could’ve won,” the captain told Sky Sport Italia after a 1-1 draw.
"We went down straight away to a penalty and came back into it, which wasn’t easy against one of the strongest teams in Europe.
"We proved what we are worth and what we can do in an arena like this. Our objective is to do our best, try to get through the group knowing it is not easy against sides like Bayern Munich and Manchester City, who are on our level if not better.
"Playing like this, we can get there".
With Totti in the team and breaking records at the ripe old age of 38, we wouldn't doubt it.
Artist's Impression of the Week
- 'Footballer's Wives'; Footballer Immediately Regrets Decision to Marry Twice
Football Recommendation of the Week
- In Bed With Maradona; Probably the sexiest football blog you'll ever see. Simple. Aesthetically pleasing. Just ruddy brilliant all round.
Non-Football Recommendation of the Week
- ToldYa; "ToldYa secretly stores your predictions until they happen then shows them to your friends so you can prove you were right...or wrong!".
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