Thursday 29 August 2013

Mr. Di Canio, We've Been Expecting You

Welcome to the 24th edition of Football Circus. This week we have our final Magic 8 Ball Transfer Oracle installment before next week's analysis of the predictions, Paolo Di Canio makes his first appearance and we have some sex and cars thrown in for good measure. So let's get down to business...


Pires Attends Match, Comes Out of Retirement

World Cup winner and former France and Arsenal star Robert Pires has done little of note since leaving Aston Villa in 2011. 

In May this year he stated in an interview that he was in talks with a South American side with a view to finishing his playing days there.

Nothing, it would seem, came of those talks and it appeared Pires had hung up his boots for good.
However while holidaying in Greece this week, the Frenchman decided to attend a match between local side Storm Rafina and AO Mykonos. 

With Storm Rafina losing at half time, something drastic was needed to turn the game around. Cue Pires being spotted in the stands and asked by Storm to come on a second half substitute. 

The former winger duly obliged and it didn't take him long to prove he was a class above. Scoring one goal and creating another, Pires put in a stellar performance and helped Storm to a 3-2 victory.

Mykonos returned home wondering what the hell had just happened, while Storm celebrated a victory that their players and fans alike will never forget.




Nigeria Coach in Trouble for Racist Remarks 

Nigeria coach Stephen Keishi is in hot water this week following remarks he made about Malawi coach Tom Saintfeit this week. 

Saintfiet had suggested that the upcoming World Cup Qualifier between the two nations should be moved from the Nigerian city of Calabar for security reasons due to political unrest in the region. 
Keishi reacted angrily to the suggestion. 

In a television interview, Keishi said: 

"If he wants to talk to FIFA, he should go back to Belgium. He is not an African person, he is a white dude, he should go back to Belgium". 

Saintfiet was none too impressed with the comments and was noted to have commented, "I am naturally very disappointed and a little bit shocked at the words used by Mr Keshi". 

He went on, "We have to respect each other as football coaches. He is a very good coach but his words are very unacceptable". 

Keishi however, attempted to clarify that no harm was intended by his comments and that he was merely defending his country: 

"I was just standing up for my country when someone tries to make insinuations that it is not a safe place". 

"It was not a personal attack on the person of Sainfelt, it is unfortunate that it has come across like that, but this is my default mode of defending Nigeria". 


Claims that Sunderland Manager Di Canio has Opposition Fan Beaten Up

Given that this is our 24th edition of Football Circus, the lack thus far of any Paolo Di Canio related articles is rather alarming, given the Italian's knack of hitting the headlines.

So we this week breathed a huge sigh of relief when we heard there was a story doing the rounds that the Sunderland gaffer had a fan beaten up by his security guards.

Yes, Monday's Sun reported that poor ickle Southampton fan Paul Morgan had been victim of a Di Canio ordered attack, as if the former Celtic striker was some sort of mafia boss.

The Sun article reported:

"A footie fan claims he was punched by minders of controversial Premier League boss Paolo Di Canio during a hotel bust-up. Josh Harries, 20, said Sunderland’s Italian boss, 45, went beserk as he tried to take his picture and three minders dragged him away and repeatedly hit him".

But the referee-pushing, fascist-saluting, tazmanian-devil-tattoo-getting Di Canio does not wish to be portrayed as some sort of nutjob and quickly made a statement to clarify exactly what had happened:

"We have to clarify because I don’t want speculation, big headlines. Paolo Di Canio always says the truth so you write what I am telling you. At midnight, we walked out from a meeting room with my staff. From the first floor we walked downstairs to take the lift to the third floor for bed. Obviously, the players went to bed at 10 o’clock.

Once we were close to the lift, we heard loud people shouting. I can’t repeat any of it. Obviously their behaviour showed they were Southampton fans but, to be honest, I don’t think they wanted to attack us physically. They were young, drunk guys there after a wedding party that was inside the hotel.

I was screaming from behind the staff and we tried to push the third floor button and they tried to stop us. We tried to push them away and they started to open the door so we said‘now we call the police’. They didn’t try to punch us in a clear way but they moved their hands and we stopped them.

We gave our version and the policeman, at 1.30 a.m., knocked on my door again. I don’t know if he loved me. He said:‘Can you tell me my version?’ and I said: ‘Listen, I don’t have any problem because they are only young, they’re drunk.’

At the end, there was a fun moment. They said ‘we are going to win, Rickie Lambert is going to score’ and Fabrizio said: ‘No, tomorrow we’re going to win.’ It finished like this. No footballers, no fight".



Frimpong Gets His Pimp On

If Xzibit wasn't busy making Skoda ads he'd be shaking his head in dispproval right now. For Arsenal's Emmanuel Frimpong has pimped out his ride and the results are questionable.

Last Saturday, the midfielder posted a quite disturbing Instagram video of the aforementioned pimped out ride. The car doors actually project an image onto the road of Frimpong himself, throttling former Arsenal teammate Samir Nasri. Classy.

Frimpong's feud with Nasri dates back to 2011 when the Frenchman departed the Gunners to join Man City. Frimpong took to Twitter to make clear that he felt that Nasri's decision to move was clearly a financial one and that loyalty meant little to him. The pair then clashed both on the pitch and in the tunnel in November 2011 when Nasri made his return to the Emirates Stadium as a City player in a Carling Cup match.

Frimpong's latest actions would suggest the feud is far from over.




Sextra Time for Couple after Brondby and Randers Game

Brondby and Randers played out a 0-0 bore draw in the Danish Superliga this week, much to the chagrin of the attending fans.

One particular couple who were in attendance however, would not let the scoreless match ruin their evening, especially having paid good money to get into the stadium.

So once the full time whistle had blown and the rest of the crowd had left the stadium, the dirty buggers snuck onto the pitch and engaged in some hanky panky.

They were likely under the impression that they were by this point in the evening, free from prying eyes. 

Not so. Mikkel Davidson, the Brondby press officer was still lurking somewhere in the stadium and caught full sight of the pair's shenanigans. Appalled by what he had witnessed, Davidsen felt compelled to immediately post a photograph of the act to Twitter.

The image has since gone viral.


Italian Football Story of the Week

 - Juve Move to Dismiss Llorente Exit Rumours

Juventus have been forced to issue a statement denying their intention to let Fernando Llorente leave the club amid reports that the Spaniard is already unhappy in Turin, having only signed in July.

While Juve's season has barely begun, Llorente is yet to start a game for the Bianconeri. Rumours in Italy suggest he is having difficulty adapting to Italian life and has not hit it off with his teammates.

Barcelona have been linked with a move with the striker and they may view him as an alternative to Lionel Messi and Neymar, or a 'plan B'.

Juventus sporting director Giuseppe Marotta however, has told Tuttosport:

"We believe in Llorente and we have no intention of selling him".

With less than a week left of the transfer window, Llorente is unlikely to depart Serie A in the near future but if the rumours of his unhappiness persist, his stay in Turin may be a short one.



Magic 8 Ball Transfer Oracle

This is the 15th and LAST Magic 8 Ball transfer prediction...sniffle. Yes, with the transfer window about to close, we will next week assess all 15 predictions by the 8 Ball and see how it has fared in comparison to the transfers mooted by some of the biggest newspapers. And so to this week's transfer prediction...

Christian Eriksen to Tottenham


Magic 8 Ball Says...

"LOOKING GOOD TO ME"


Football Recommendation

  - Football is God - Enthralling documentary which follows the lives of Boca Juniors fans in Argentina, to whom football is treated like a religion




Non Football Recommendation

 - Office Space


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