Here at Football Circus we revel in exposing idiocy. So we feel it is only right to to hold our hands up when we ourselves have been idiotic. Last week's blog, which we proclaimed to be our twelfth, was in fact, our thirteenth - So we apologise for any confusion caused and would like to swiftly revert to the laughing at and mocking of others. To make up for our faux pas, we've thrown in a few more stories than usual this week. Animals? Tick. Sendings off? Tick. Mario Balotellli? Tick. Welcome to Football Circus...
Lazio Fans hold Funeral for AS Roma
Having beaten their city rivals in this year's Coppa Italia Final, fans of Lazio held a public funeral on Saturday for Roma.
Not ones to to do things by halves, the 4,000 Lazio fans who showed up near Rome's Ponte Milvio pulled out all the stops to rub it in, staging a full funeral procession which included: a coffin shrouded in a Roma flag; red and yellow flowers; mourners; pall bearers; fake grieving widows; and even a mock priest.
Lazio defeated Roma 1-0 in the Coppa Italia Final on May 26th, not only denying Roma the silverware but also a place in next season's Europa League. The match was not overly impressive and a chorus of boos rang out throughout the game. A pre-match performance from PSY of Gangham Style fame was even drowned out by both sets of fans attempting to drown out each other's chants.
Both sets of fans have something of a reputation for violence, so here's hoping the tongue-in-cheek gesture will not be taken too seriously by the Roma fans.
Fenerbache, Besiktas and Steaua Bucharest Face Champion's League Ban
Fenerbache face being banned from the Champions League for a second time following allegations of match fixing by the club and five club officials.
The Turkish giants were banned from the competition for the 2011-12 campaign as a result of a match-fixing scandal and should they be found guilty this time around, will be banned again. One of the five club officials who stands accused is club president Azia Yildirim who was imprisoned last July for six years for match fixing.
Fener are not alone as fellow Turks Besiktas have been charged with match fixing. Romanian side Steaua Bucharest are also looking at a ban, as their owner Gigi Becali was jailed for attempting to bribe players from rival teams to throw a match.
UEFA have stated: "Following the investigation into alleged match fixing activities involving Fenerbahce, the UEFA disciplinary inspector has now submitted his findings to the control and disciplinary body, in the context of disciplinary proceedings against this club and five club officials.This case will be heard by the UEFA control and disciplinary body on Saturday June 22".
"Proceedings have also been opened against Besiktas and two club officials in relation to match-fixing activities, which are alleged to have taken place during the 2011 Turkish Cup final".
"Proceedings have also been opened against Steaua Bucharest on the basis of ... the 2013-14 UEFA Champions League regulations, relating to the admission criteria for participation in UEFA competitions".
Footballer Throws Dog, Fans Infuriated
Nothing says Football Circus like a dog on a football pitch. If you can throw in a sending off for good measure, all the better. Although if the sending off involved a player throwing said dog violently against a fence by the neck, we're not so keen.
Bella Vista took on San Juan in a fourth division Argentine league encounter last weekend. A stray dog somehow made its way onto the pitch as the match progressed. Eager not to have play held up, Bella Vista forward Jose Jimenez ran towards the dog, picked it up by the neck in what appeared to be some form of choke hold, and flung the defenseless animal against the wire fencing that separated the fans from the pitch. It was apparent that Jimenez had intended to throw the dog over and not against the fence in order to remove him from the field of play.
However the manner in which Jimenez went about removing the dog was met with immediate disdain from both the fans and opposition players alike. A water bottle was thrown towards him and as he walked back across the pitch he was surrounded by angry players from San Juan.
The referee did not appreciate Jimenez's attempt to rid the pitch of the dog either and showed him a straight red card.
Jimenez said of the incident "The referee made me nervous. I wasn't trying to hurt the dog, I just wanted to remove it because the (San Juan) fans sent it onto the field to waste time."
His meek attempt at an apology did not go far however and he has now been dropped from the Bella Vista squad. San Juan ran out 2-1 victors and more importantly, the dog escaped uninjured.
More Argie-Bargy
Barcelona star Javier Mascherano has hit the headlines this week for kicking a medic whilst being stretchered off the field during Argentina's World Cup qualifier away to Ecuador.
The midfielder had sustained an injury and a motorised cart was driven onto the pitch to stretcher the Argetine captain to the sidelines. Whilst being transported, Mascherano claims he felt the cart was going too fast and feared he would fall off. He shouted at the driver to slow down but his protests fell on deaf ears. Alas, Mascherano thought the only way to grab the attention of the driver was to kick him and he duly proceeded to do so.
His actions did not escape the eagle-eyed referee however and Mascherano was promptly shown a straight red card. Players from both sides converged upon the sideline, surrounding both the referee and Mascherano as the ex-Liverpool and West Ham man pleaded his innocence. Eventually order was restored and a 1-1 draw was played out.
He later apologised for his actions via the medium of Twitter (what else), declaring: "I really apologise for the reaction I had, nothing justifies this".
He's a Socceroo...And a Sexist Too
Last week Sepp Blatter was the featured purveyor of casual sexism, this week Australia coach Holger Osieck is at it.
In his pre-match press conference ahead of Australia's 4-0 World Cup Qualifier win at home to Jordan this week, Holger dropped quite a clanger...and almost immediately realised his mistake thanks to a few "Ooooh"(s) from the waiting media.
Asking the press officer "I sit hear?"was followed by Holger joking "You push me round like my wife". Hmm...That one was let slide. But Osieck wouldn't put the shovel down that easily. He went on, "But there's a saying..." (Osieck then murmurs a phrase in Latin) "It's a very very eh...Women should shut up in public". Gaging the journalists' reactions, Osieck knew he was in trouble and backtracked. "I say it to my wife at home, OK, it's a private one". Right so Holger, if you say so. The German born coach then said "And you've recorded that one as well so I'm going to be the darling of all Australian wives...women".
To counteract the backlash Osieck has (conveniently) issued an apology.
Neuer to Star in German Version of New Monsters Inc. Film
Germany and Bayern Munich goalkeeper Manuel Neuer is set to voice one of the characters in the German version of Monsters University, the prequel to Monsters Inc.
The German equivalent of the film, called 'Die Monsters Uni', will feature a character named 'Frightening' Frank McCay, to be voiced by Neuer.
The film is due for release on June 21st.
Neuer isn't the first footballer to voice an animated character. Barcelona midfielder Andres Iniesta voiced an albino pirate in 2012 hit 'The Pirates!'.
Tragedy Hits Man City...As they mourn the Loss of Wimblydon the Cat
Manchester City this week announced a day of mourning following the sad passing of Wimblydon, a cat who wandered into the dressing room of their Carrington training complex thirteen years ago.
Wimblydon, who was thought to have been a stray, found himself in the dressing room as then fitness coach, Juan Carlos Osorio, attempted to pronounce 'Wimbledon'. His mispronunciation was found so hysterical by the listening players, that they felt it apt to associate it with the cat.
Wimblydon led a hell of life at Carrington. He once dropped a dead mouse outside the door of Kevin Keegan's office. He greeted Mario Balotelli when he first arrived at the club. He even had his own Twitter account.
City's own Twitter feed announced this week: "It is with great sadness that we announce that the Carrington Club Cat Wimblydon passed away this afternoon RIPWimbly"
Following the announcement the media have linked several big name cats to the vacant spot. Garfield and Jess from Postman Pat are rumoured to be the front runners, while the cat seen on the wall during the Coronation Street credits is thought to be an outside bet.
The Magic 8 Ball Transfer Oracle
Even Zidane seems to have an interest in this one...
GARETH BALE TO REAL MADRID
(As reported here http://www.express.co.uk/sport/football/406731/Real-Madrid-unfazed-by-Tottenham-demanding-85m-for-Gareth-Bale)
Magic 8 Ball Says...
"LOOKING GOOD"
Italian Football Story of the Week
- Rollercoaster of a Fortnight for Balotelli
Mario Balotelli was sent off last week during Italy's 0-0 draw with Czech Republic following two yellow cards. The second booking was a harsh one as Czech Republic defender Gabre Selassie made a meal of minor contact from the Italian striker.
Balotelli accepted the referee's decision, shook his hand and retreated to the dressing room. No, of course not, he didn't really.
Super Mario reacted furiously. He was seen to shout at the referee, match officials and Italian coaches before storming down the tunnel where he was caught on camera punching a wall.
This week rumours are rife that Balotelli has gotten engaged to girlfriend Fanny Neguesha. Yes, APPARENTLY they're back together. Not sure how we missed that one. Regardless, Fanny has posted pictures on, Twitter (of course) of an engagement ring on her finger along with photos of flowers and a cake with a picture of the happy couple on it. The picture with the engagement ring was accompanied with the caption "It's official...like me".
Football Recommendation
- The Art of Steve Welsh
Non-Football Recommendation
- The latest offering from the Lonely Island
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