footballcircus: A-Listers

We're rolling out all the big names this week on Football Circus with stories on Gazza and Sepp Blatter, Maradona, Ibrahimovic, Balotelli and eh...Nani. Meanwhile our Italian Football Story of the Week features Leonardo Bonucci whinging about Juve's Champions League loss. So what are you waiting for, get reading!

Football Circus Clown Quote of the Week

"I don’t read Twitter, I don’t even know what it is, I wouldn’t know how to read it and it doesn’t interest me one little bit".

- Harry Redknapp on 30th October 2014.

No-Show Nani Leaves Fans Disappointed

Manchester United and Portugal winger Nani is in trouble this week after failing to show up at a fundraiser in Northern Ireland on Saturday. The 28-year old who spent the 2014/15 season on loan at Sporting Lisbon, was due to make appearances at Jungle N.I. and Meadowbank Sports Centre in Magherafelt in Derry on Saturday. Unfortunately he was, for one reason or another, unable to fulfil his commitments.

Some interesting reports have surfaced, explaining why the United man no-showed.

The event organiser, Alberto De Barros, informed UTV that Nani was advised by the Portguese FA that he needed to report to training ahead of his national team's friendly with Armenia. A disappointed De Barros said:

"I do feel fully responsible for this. All I can do is apologise".

The Mirror however, have gone a little further and claim that Nani was spotted out in Magherafelt town on Friday night, drinking with locals. The Portguese FA, allegedly, got wind of Nani's boozing antics and ordered him to get the first flight back to Portugal the next morning.

Maradona Aims to be FIFA Vice-President...And Knocks over a Small Child

Following the FIFA corruption scandal that has gone on over the past few weeks, most would think that making a womanising former drug user the new FIFA vice-president wouldn't be the best PR move ever made...That is unless that womanising former drug user is Diego Maradona.

Speaking to Argentine television this week, Maradona threw his name into the hat, stating:

"If Prince Ali wins, there's a good chance I'll be vice president of FIFA. If I get there, I'm going to clean out all of them".

Maradona also claimed Sepp Blatter resigned as he was living in fear of being caught by the FBI:

"He was afraid they were going to take him out of FIFA in handcuffs".

Meanwhile, video footage emerged on Youtube this week, of Maradona getting tough with his grandson, and Sergio Aguero's son, Benjamin. Maradona is shown playing football with Benjamin who appears to be getting the better of him. Maradona goes in with a late tackle and catches Benjamin on the leg, knocking him to the ground. Aguero Jr. is unperturbed however and gets straight back up. There could be a future in the game for him yet!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hlQFjgynEc

Ibra Misses Champions League Final to go Climbing, then Pranks Cameraman

Zlatan Ibrahimovic has never won the Champions League. It was perhaps for this reason that on Saturday evening, as two of his former sides, Barcelona and Juventus, went toe-to-toe in Berlin to fight it out for Europe's biggest prize, he opted not to watch the match but instead went climbing. He posted some photos of his trip to his Instragram. He quite clearly couldn't care less what's going on outside of Planet Zlatan!

Days later, Ibra was at his pranking best. Never one to be seen as being overly-fond of the media, Zlatan has often gotten himself into skirmishes with members of the press. Ahead of Sweden's Euro 2016 qualifier with Montenegro, a cameraman found himself on the receiving end of an Ibra prank. As the striker walked off the pitch following a training session, he decided to use the cameraman's camera lens as a bin for the peel of a banana he'd been munching on, before nonchalantly making his way back to the dressing room.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NC-CXgNpQX0

When Gazza Met Sepp

A healthier looking Paul Gacoigne was featured in the back pages quite prominently this week following the premiere of the documentary about his life and career, unimaginatively titled "Gacoigne". To coincide, the Guardian this week conducted a Q&A session with Gazza, during which he was asked:

"During your stint at Lazio, did your Italian teammates fully get your irreverent sense of perhaps British silly humour? The clip of you eating the easter egg springs to mind. If they did not, what was the most awkward moment of you acting out a joke and it being received very badly?".

His response was amusing to say the least, as he recalled an incident involving none other than Sepp Blatter:

"They had no option. No option. They couldn’t believe what they were seeing, I must admit.

"I did one on Di Matteo, who would sometimes get on my nerves. I went back to the villa and there was a little snake. I went back to training in the afternoon and put the snake in his pocket. When we came back in after training I asked him if he had any money. He put his hand in his pocket and nearly shat himself.

"But at training I put the effort in as well. Once Dino Zoff said Blatter was coming. He wanted us on time in the Lazio suit. I turned up 30 minutes later in a Santa Claus outfit. I sat next to Blatter and said: 'Hello, I’m Santa, ho, ho, ho'. The security wanted to get rid of me and Zoff wasn’t happy and made me train morning and afternoon for a week".

What's Mad Mario Upto this Week?

Sweet Fanny Adams is the answer to the question posed above. Balotelli was on Instagram on Saturday to wish his mates Neymar and Paul Pogba luck before the Champions League final.

Aisde from that, there's not been much Balo-related news this week. Though his stock has fallen so low that even Irish First Division side Cabinteely have been having a laugh at his expense. The Dublin club have been 'trolling' the Italian on Twitter...

Italian Football Story of the Week

- Bonucci Looks to Forget Champions League Defeat

Juventus defender Leonardo Bonucci told a press conference this week, of his disappointment following the Old Lady's defeat to Barcelona in the Champions League final. He stressed his urge to move on quickly from the loss and won't be dwelling on the result for too long. Said Bonucci:

"We have no regrets over the final.

"On the pitch, Barça were stronger than us in the key moments. We have to take it as a starting point, for us players and for the club.

"We must begin from the understanding that we’ve reached a high level in Europe, we have to nurture this dream but keep our feet on the ground.

"We have to continue with a furious hunger for success.

"Playing now with the national team helps banish the memories of defeat, waiting a month-and-a-half could have had a destabilising effect.

"Losing that dream was a disappointment, but in the end we must all learn something from it. We have to start again from now, because Juventus are back to being competitive in Europe.

"We have to make sure we never stop trying to raise our individual levels".

Artist's Impression of the Week

- 'Bananas!'; Ibra gets under the skin of a cameraman with his latest prank.

Football Recommendation of the Week

- FIFABastards.com; "This is a timeline of events involving FIFA since 2010. It covers the fact that FIFA (a non-profit charity organisation) has accumulated over $1.5 billion in cash reserves, multiple counts of corruption involving the majority of FIFA's 27 executive members, and modern day slavery with a death count of more than 1,000 migrant workers in Qatar over the past two years". A detailed, yet succinct log of the FIFA corruption scandal thus far.

http://www.fifabastards.com

Non-Football Recommendation of the Week

- 'Humans'; New drama from Channel 4 and AMC set to debut on Sunday 14th of June. With a bit of luck this might go some way towards filling the void of left by the World Cup this summer.

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/humans