Welcome to another Football Circus, where you’ll get your weekly dose nonsensical football news. This week we feature an angry UFC fighter, an arrogant Frenchman, a ‘fat’ manager, a bumbling prime minister and a brave crow. All in one football blog? You’d better believe it…
Football Circus Clown Quote of the Week
“Tom Cleverly looked like a fish up a tree”.
- Paul Merson, the gift that keeps on giving.
Sampdoria President deems Benitez 'Too Fat’ to manage Club
Massimo Ferro, the Sampdoria president, has claimed current Napoli manager Rafa Benitez has no chance of taking the reigns at his club unless he loses some weight. With talk rife in Italy that Sinisa Mihajlovic will leave Samp at the end of the season, Ferro was asked by radio station CRC whether Mihajlovic will indeed be leaving and if so, who might replace him?
Ferro responded:
“As far as I am concerned, he is staying. If he were to leave, I’d know who to replace him with.
"Paulo Sousa’s not going to be Sampdoria’s next coach, it will be Lino Banfi.
"I could take Benitez, but I’d have to take him to a dietitian first.
"Anyway, if Mihajlovic does leave, I’ve already got a replacement”.
Henry Enrages Irish UFC Fighter
Thierry Henry hasn’t won many new fans since beginning his new job as a Sky Sports pundit. Last week, he upset quite a few people with his comments regarding Javier Hernandez, who scored the winner in Real Madrid’s Champions League quarter-final clash with city rivals Atletico Madrid. Hernandez was seen to run off celebrating, while teammate Cristiano Ronaldo, who assisted the goal and did most of the leg work for it, celebrated separately.
Henry remarked:
“Ronaldo giving him that ball - that’s Ronaldo’s goal.
"What I don’t like is that he celebrates like he has just won the World Cup. It’s a tap in. Turn around and celebrate with Ronaldo.
"I think the pressure went through him.
"He knew had to perform and he had a couple of chances to do it.
"If Ronaldo had done that I would have said the same thing.
"But it is still a tap in, turn around and say thank you to the man”.
Henry’s comments have provoked the ire of Irish UFC fighter Cathal Pendred.
Still upset with Henry’s handball against Ireland in a Euro 2010 qualifier that assisted France’s winning goal, Pendred tweeted:
“@ThierryHenry How the hell can you criticize a player for celebrating a legit goal when you celebrated a goal after a handball #ShitePundit”.
Henry may not be too worried about upsetting Hernandez, but Pendred is one man he would not want to get on the wrong side of.
Caw-Caw Blimey! Lazio’s Eagle Mascot attacked by Crow
Lazio’s fans got a shock at the weekend when their team’s mascot, Olimpia, a female American golden eagle, was attacked by a crow.
The eagle was in flight over Lazio’s home stadium, the Stadio Olimipico, ahead of the side’s Serie A fixture against Chievo Verona. However instead of admiring Olimpia in all her soaring glory, the fans witnessed their beloved eagle fall victim to an attack by a common crow.
Both birds left the incident unscathed, however, the Romans being a superstitious bunch, may feel the crow-attack was a bad omen as the home side drew 1-1, having been expected to run out as winners.
British PM Cameron Left Wishing Cameras Off as he forgets the Team he 'Supports’
British prime minister David Cameron has referenced the fact that he is, apparently, an Aston Villa fan on a number of occasions in the past. At a Tory conference this week however, he clearly got his claret and blue teams mixed up, as he suggested that West Ham United are in fact the team he favours.
A blundering Cameron told the audience:
“We are a shining example of a country where multiple identities work.
"Where you can be Welsh and Hindu and British, Northern Irish and Jewish and British, where you can wear a kilt and a turban, where you can wear a hijab covered in poppies.
"Where you can support Man Utd, the Windies and Team GB all at the same time.
"Of course, I’d rather you supported West Ham”.
Frenchman in Arrogance Shocker
Arsenal’s Olivier Giroud was left red-faced and looked quite the arrogant footballer after misinterpreting a question posed to him by the Daily Mail this week.
The French striker was asked about Arsene Wenger’s recent praise of him, where Wenger referred Giroud’s 'animal instincts’ on the pitch.
Giroud responded:
“I don’t want to speak any more about my appearance, my hair or anything, I get p***** about that.
"I don’t know. I know one thing, in sport you have to question yourself every week and be ready in your head and you have to be at 100 per cent of determination if you want to keep going and win games, you cannot afford to be at 80 or 90 per cent”.
Right so.
What’s Mad Mario Upto this Week?
Balotelli played in Liverpool’s 0-0 draw with West Brom on Saturday. Then he played in Liverpool’s 1-0 defeat to Hull on Tuesday. Did nothing of note.
His Liverpool career appears to be grinding to dull, painful, halt and we at Football Circus would like it known that we wholly encourage a transfer for the striker. Failing that, we’d be quite keen to see a return of his setting-off-fireworks-in-bathroom days, or at the very least a social media meltdown of some sort.
Balo did go to the cinema this week however, for anyone who is interested.
He also had a pop at those who criticise him on social media. Sadly however, he appeared to laugh off their derision, rather than go on a rage-filled rampage of revenge. Sigh. A blog can dream.
Italian Football Story of the Week
- Inter Retire Zanetti’s Number 4 Jersey
Inter Milan paid tribute to former captain Javier Zanetti this week, when club president Erick Thohir announced that the number four jersey would be retired in his honour. Speaking to the club’s Youtube channel, Thohir confirmed that Zanetti, who retired from the game last season, would be the last player to wear number four for Inter.
Said Thohir:
“Among the Inter players that will take to the field in the future, there is one shirt you will never see worn by anyone again, the number four, your number four.
"You are an icon of Inter, a legend of your club and world football. You have won this cup (Champions League), kissed her, held her so many times.
"Now you are our leader, we will raise many more cups with Inter together. I’m sure with hard work, with the help of all the management, coach and players, we will bring joy and more trophies to our fans”.
Artist’s Impression of the Week
- 'Footballer left with Egg on Face’; Olivier Giroud left looking quite foolish after misinterpreting interview question.
Football Recommendation of the Week
- The Hardest Premier League Quiz You’ll Take Today (BuzzFeed); If, after reading Football Circus, you find yourself at a loose end, then we could recommend nothing better this week than testing your knowledge of the Premier League with these 50 quiz questions.
Non-Football Recommendation of the Week
- Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Manny Pacquaio; If, after reading Football Circus and completing 'The Hardest Premier League Quiz You’ll Take Today’, you find yourself at a loose end, then we could recommend nothing better this week than watching the richest boxing fight of all time.
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You can also contact us at footballcircus@gmail.com.
"Where you can be Welsh and Hindu and British, Northern Irish and Jewish and British, where you can wear a kilt and a turban, where you can wear a hijab covered in poppies.
His Liverpool career appears to be grinding to dull, painful, halt and we at Football Circus would like it known that we wholly encourage a transfer for the striker. Failing that, we’d be quite keen to see a return of his setting-off-fireworks-in-bathroom days, or at the very least a social media meltdown of some sort.
He also had a pop at those who criticise him on social media. Sadly however, he appeared to laugh off their derision, rather than go on a rage-filled rampage of revenge. Sigh. A blog can dream.
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