Thursday, 18 December 2014

Dirty Football & Recommendation of the Year Awards

Our penultimate edition of the year sees us bring tales of smut in the football world; a rather unorthodox method of groundskeeping; and Jaffa Cakes. We also feature our Recommendation of the Year Awards this week. So without beating around the bush, let's get down to business...




Football Circus Clown Quote of the Week

"Good morning Yes bad result on Sat. Read your messages reflecting over weekend. Embracing challenge to turn it around. WE can do it together".

- Nigel Adkins via Twitter on Sunday evening. He was sacked as Reading manager on Monday.


Dirty Football

It's been a rather odd week on the old smut front. Be it one too many mulled wine's or the imminent arrival of mistletoe, fans and players alike seem to be getting a little carried away. Our first case in point is a footballer in Kuwait who stuck his finger up the rear end of an opposition player this week to get a reaction, then held his own face to make it look as if he was the victim of foul play...



Further smutty behaviour could be seen in Guingamp this week as a middle aged man at the Guingamp - PSG match held aloft one of the most bizarre banners we've ever come across. The banner read: "ZLATAN YOUR FANS ARE HERE! YOUR SWEAT OR YOUR PANTIES, PLEASE". We're failry certain even the outspoken Ibra himself would have been lost for words over this one.


Lastly, a 'lady' caught on camera at the Mestella during Valencia's 3-0 defeat of Rayo Vallecano was witnessed waving a dildo around. We can only imagine how this came about. "Betty do you have your scarf or flag for the match?"; "No, it's fine dear, I have the dildo".



Bunch of Spongers!

A rather farcical attempt to rectify a waterlogged pitch was witnessed at the weekend in Morocco, at the World Club Championships no less. The quarter final game between Cruz Azul and Western Sydney Wanderers looked like it wouldn't be played, such was the state of the waterlogged pitch following some severe weather conditions. However thanks to the groundsmen and what could only be described as giant sponges, the water was, in the eyes of FIFA officials at least, sufficiently absorbed for the match to go ahead.

Western Sydney Wanderers coach Tony Popovic was left disillusioned by the decision for the game to go ahead in spite of the poor conditions. His side lost 3-1 and after the match he stated:

"You can’t control nature but if the pitch was up to standard in the first place then the rain wouldn’t have mattered.

"I sit here really disappointed, because this is the pinnacle of the game but I’m left with a sour taste in my mouth. We never got the chance to show how good we are. We’ll never know now, due to the pitch. I never felt we were in any danger, we were two minutes away from a dream date with Real Madrid and showed we can compete with Cruz Azul".

Although Cruz Azul managed to conquer the Australians, they went on to lose out 4-0 to Real Madrid in the semi-final.




Chester Manager Takes the Biscuit by Throwing Jaffa Cakes onto Pitch during Match

It may be the season of good will but Keith Hill, the referee for the Chester-Barnsley Carling Cup fixture on Tuesday, was nonetheless unimpressed with Chester manager Steve Burr's decision to throw Jaffa Cakes onto the pitch for his tiring players.

Chester defender Gareth Roberts was quick to react once Burr threw the Jaffa Cakes onto the field at the Deva Stadium and immediately picked them up and began munching away. Not wanting to seem greedy, the generous 36 year old made sure to offer not only his teammates but also opposition players some of his snacks.

However referee Hill was unphased by the act of generosity and hurriedly ordered the biscuits (yeah, we said it) to be removed from the field of play. In spite of Roberts' feast, his team's defence appeared as weak as a Digestive dipped in a cuppa, going down 3-0 on the night.




What's Mad Mario Upto this Week?

Good news is in short supply for Mario Balotelli this season. This week is no different, as his Liverpool team were on the wrong end of a 3-0 scoreline against bitter rivals Manchester United on Sunday. Balo did not start the match, though he did look lively after coming on as a second half substitute. Alas, he failed to find the net once again for the Merseysiders.

That will come as no surprise to QPR midfielder Adel Taarabt however. Balo's former AC Milan teammate this week told Italian television what he thought of Super Mario:

"Balotelli? Everybody told me he was amazing. I played with him and I can confirm he’s good, but he didn’t seem like a world-class player to me.

"He is an ordinary player, not a phenomenon.

"He is someone who has a strong shot but he doesn’t play for the team. Or if he does, then he doesn’t score which is the case now with Liverpool.

"He had a lot of chances, from Manchester City to Milan, and he threw them all away".


Italian Football Story of the Week

- Parma Sold to New Owners

Struggling Parma this week confirmed via their website that they have new owners. A Russian-Cypriot conglomerate will take over from the outgoing Tommaso Ghirardi. On Tuesday, a statement on fcparma.com read:

"Following the press release on 11.12.2014, Parma now announces the new organisation.

"President - Doctor Pietro Doca; Vice President - lawyer Fabio Giordano; general manager - Pietro Leonardi.

"Details of the transaction and the new corporate structure will be presented by the new shareholders in a Press conference on December 19 at 18.00 in the Stadio Ennio Tardini press room".

The aforementioned Dr. Doca (teehee) then made his first announcement as Parma president:

"I'm thrilled to finally announce to Parma fans that after a lot of hard work, the purchase has been completed successfully.

"Myself and my colleagues want to work to ensure this glorious company a solid future.

"I Thank Tommaso Ghirardi for his commitment and dedication in recent years for the good of Parma".

The new owners will have their work cut out for them as the club have already been deducted a point in Serie A and fined €5,000 for missing tax payments.


Artist's Impression of the Week

- 'H2O-No!'; Moroccan pitch deemed playable despite being waterlogged.



Recommendation of the Year Awards 2014

As per last year, we have once again undertaken the thankless task of compiling each of our football and non-football recommendations of the week for the past year. At the end of it, we'll list our top three of each and crown the winners, our recommendations for the year. Simple as that. So, let's recap on the year that was:


Football Recommendations:

January
The Class of 92 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3311384/
Sofa Score http://www.sofascore.com/
Fantasy Premier League Community http://fantasyplcommunity.wordpress.com/
Daniel Nyari Match of the Day collection http://iamdany.com/MATCH-OF-THE-DAY

February

March

April

May
Ceasefire Massacre http://espn.go.com/30for30/film?page=ceasefiremassacre
Andrea Pirlo: I Think Therefore I Play http://www.amazon.com/Andrea-Pirlo-Think-Therefore-Play/dp/1909430161
1000 Football Shirts; The Colours of the Beautiful Game (Bernard Lions, Carlo Ancelotti)
http://www.amazon.com/1000-Football-Shirts-Colours-Beautiful/dp/0789327309
And Gazza Misses The Final http://www.amazon.co.uk/And-Gazza-Misses-The-Final/dp/1472111036
ESPN World Cup Posters by Cristiano Siqueira http://www.espnfc.com/blog/_/name/worldcupcentral/id/4593?cc=5739

June

July

August

September

October
In Bed With Maradona http://inbedwithmaradona.com/
Finished Players https://twitter.com/FinishedPlayers
Timber Joey: America's Best Mascot? (VICE) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Po_9wS9FMhc
Next Goal Wins | Polynesian Everything https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aO-otCsa_M#t=1260

November
Football Manager 2015 http://www.footballmanager.com/
AndyTateEdits https://twitter.com/AndyTateEdits
Adrian Doherty: the lost star of Manchester United’s class of 92 (Daniel Taylor, the Guardian); 
http://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2014/nov/15/adrian-doherty-manchester-united-class-of-92
Pep Guardiola: Another Way of Winning (Guillem Balague) http://www.amazon.com/Pep-Guardiola-Another-Way-Winning/dp/1409129462

December


Phew...And now onto the Non Football Recommendations:

January

February

March
A Visual Feast http://www.avisualfeast.ie/
The Story of the Web http://www.storyoftheweb.org.uk/
GeoGuessr; Google Maps based game http://geoguessr.com/
Google Chromecast http://www.google.ie/intl/en/chrome/devices/chromecast/

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December


Our top three football recommendations this year are:

3. Andrea Pirlo: I Think Therefore I Play http://www.amazon.com/Andrea-Pirlo-Think-Therefore-Play/dp/1909430161 ; This is probably the best autobiography we've encountered this year and indeed for many years. 
2. In Bed With Maradona http://inbedwithmaradona.com/ ; As we noted back in October, "Probably the sexiest football blog you'll ever see. Simple. Aesthetically pleasing. Just ruddy brilliant all round".


And the winner is...

1. LFC Day Trippers http://www.lfcdaytrippers.com/ ; A mighty fine podcast and indeed website. LFC Day Trippers is an impressive operation all round and though it is Liverpool-centric, the podcast proves entertaining even for the neutral fan.


Our top three non-football recommendations this year are:

3. Simpsons pictures that I gone and done https://www.facebook.com/TheSimpsonsArt ; As beautiful as it is bizarre, 'Simpsons pictures that I gone and done' may just be the most entertaining Facebook page you will ever encounter.
2. 22 Jump Street http://www.22jumpstreetmovie.com/site/ ; One of the most entertaining films of the year. Though there will certainly have been more hard-hitting and serious films that were worth a watch this year, 22 Jump Street is a film you're unlikely to regret paying to see.


And the winner is...

1. 'Ceannt Fort' (Wicker Bones) http://wickerbones.com/track/ceannt-fort ; Great music from a great band that you should really check out. A deserving winner of our Non-Football Recommenction of the Year Award 2014.


So that's your lot. Congratulations to LFC Day Trippers and Wicker Bones on being our recommendations of 2014! We hope both keep up the good work in 2015.

Next week will be our last edition of the year before our return in January 2015 (Yes, we are advocates of a mid-season winter break). As it is the last edition of the year, we'll bring you our now annual 'Golden Clown Shoe' award, where we crown the biggest clown in the world of football for the year that has been.

Don’t forget you can follow us on Twitter @footballcircus or on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/pages/Football-Circus/418804204906352

You can also contact us at footballcircus@gmail.com
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Thursday, 11 December 2014

The One about a Goat, Lightning, an Armed Robber and Japanese Rugby

Fitting into your lives as well as a fat, bearded old man fits down a chimney, Football Circus is here for yet another week. And while we don't come bearing gifts, we aim to bring you plenty of cheer while marking off a number of countries along the way. This week we'll inform you of: Pep Guardiola's Japanese rugby adventure; a Chilean criminal-cum-Alexis Sanchez lookalike; a goat on a pitchin Crete; a lighting strike in Peru; and Maradona's sleepy trip to Venezuela. Throw in your weekly Balotelli update and Italian Football Story of the Week and you're all set! (Also to the person who happened upon Football Circus last week by Google searching 'Tamara Pisnoli nude photo', shame on you. And welcome back).




Football Circus Clown Quote of the Week

"My eyebrows have curled up thinking about that".

- Lee Dixon on Liverpool's half time substitutions this week.


Pep's Turning Japanese...And to Rugby

Bayern Munich manager Pep Guardiola will undertake quite an unusual second job over the coming months - Working as an advisor for Japan's rugby team as they go into the 2015 Rugby World Cup in search of their first ever World Cup win.

The news was revealed this week and Japan's coach, Australian Eddie Jones, explained the decision to consult a man more familiar with spherical balls to Kyoto News:

"The main thing we learnt this year was that we have to be tactically more flexible. We need to react to situations on the field and make adjustments to the way we play.

"The soccer approach is called tactical periodisation, in which everything is done in preparation for the game and in order to be tactically aware.

"I watched Bayern train and had a really good meeting with the head coach and I really think we can improve greatly with adjustments in the way we train. He is the best soccer coach in the world and you always want to learn from the best.

"Rugby and soccer are very similar in that you always want to move the ball into space and Bayern Munich and his previous team Barcelona played the most fantastic passing game you have ever seen. The principles are exactly the same.

"The very best soccer teams vary their depth and formation in order to make the most of the space. So when you get the chance to learn from the best it’s a fantastic opportunity".

The last big name to switch between the two sports was Sir Clive Woodward who, despite having won the Rugby World Cup with England, failed miserably when he took the reigns at Southampton. Though Guardiola will have a far less involved role with the Japanese rugby team, he will certainly be hoping to fair better.


Alexis Sanchez Causing Havoc in the Streets of Chile

'Alexis Sanchez' was arrested this week in Chile. No, not the Arsenal winger, but his doppelganger, Daniel Jesús Brizuela González, who is nicknamed 'Alexis Sanchez' due to him bearing a striking resemblance to the Chile international.

González does not shy away from the comparison either and is often spotted wearing a Barcelona jersey with 'Alexis 9' on the back. The arrest was reportedly down to an armed robbery and the criminal has over forty arrests in the past three years for similar convictions.

Surely if he's getting caught so often he might thinking about changing his image?! Given the time of year it is, a certain pair of 'calling card' leaving crimnals spring to mind...





Goat on a Pitch

We've featured many animals here on Football Circus: Dogs; cats; cows; sheep; lions; a parrot; monkeys; snakes; and a rooster. But never a goat. Until now. Yes, a game in Crete between local sides Elounda and Ierapetra was interrupted by an unwelcome guest in the form of a goat.

The goat wandered onto the pitch on a number of occasions, even appearing to want to take over from the goalkeeper at one point. Much to the crowd's amusement, efforts to remove the goat were foiled time and time again until eventually, a fan who looked to be the owner or perhaps a shepherd, managed to grab the goat by the horns and escort him away.




What a Strike! Peruvian Player Hit by Lightning

Peruvian footballer Joao Contreras got more than he bargained for when he turned out for his side Sport Aguila this week. The 21 year old's side was 6-3 down from the first leg of an encounter with Fuerza Minera and he was intent on helping the team turn their fortunes around. However, Contreras got the shock of his life when, with the second leg level at 1-1, he was struck by lightning!

Unbelievably, Contreras was initially thought dead after being struck down. In fact Sport Aguila's official Twitter account went as far as to confirm so much. Miraculously Contreras, after being rushed to hospital following medical attention, survived the strike. Despite suffering second degree burns, he in now in a stable condition.

The lightning was so bad that the assistant referee was also struck, though he escaped unharmed and was merely treated for shock. The match was unsurprisingly suspended following the bout of lightning. Whether or not Contreras will tog out for the rematch is unconfirmed. Regardless, Joao Contreras, we salute you!



Maradona Doses off During Trip to Vene-ZZZuela

Diego Maradona did not cover himself in glory this week on a trip to Venezuela as he dosed off during a speech by Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro. The Argentine great had been invited as a special guest to celebrations of the 190th anniversary of the Battle of Ayacucho, a battle in which independence was won for both Peru and the rest of South America (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Ayacucho).
Clearly, Maradona was bored senseless by the speech and thought he'd use the opportunity to catch up on some shut eye. Embarrassingly, the Barcelona and Napoli legend was then presented to the audience as "a rebel and revolutionary". Cue rapturous applause from the crowd and television cameras panning to the World Cup winner...Who had his arms folded and eyes closed. Maradona had to be nudged forward by a friend and immediately got to his feet and waved (which we'd like to now imagine he does every time he wakes up).




What's Mad Mario Upto this Week?

It's been another rough week for Super Mario as his tumultuous spell at Liverpool continues. Missing out on involvement in their 0-0 draw with Sunderland and the weekend and their 1-1 match with Basel later in the week through injury, clouds still hang over the striker's future. With the Anfield club now out of the Champions League and squad depth looking less important, Daniel Sturridge's eventual return from injury could be mean curtains for Balo's time at Liverpool.

Indeed, his manager's words to the press about him this week were less than encouraging and even suggested that Balo is the team's third choice striker. Speaking to the media, Brendan Rodgers said:

"As as a club we felt that buying Mario was the solution at the time.

"In the summer, we had Rickie Lambert. Fabio Borini looked 100 per cent that he was leaving, and obviously Daniel Sturridge has shown in his career so far that he gets injuries.

"To go into the season with no-one else would have been very difficult for us. It would have been unfair to leave Rickie Lambert, as a 32-year-old, as the only other striker that we had.

"I felt it was a risk we needed to take with Mario because, as a group, we couldn't afford not to at that time. It was obviously late on and we needed to have someone in.

"It's something that we can't regret now. I made it clear at the beginning it was a calculated risk - and that is why he probably cost the money he did".


Italian Football Story of the Week

- AC Milan New Stadium expected for 2020

AC Milan CEO Barbara Berlusconi has informed reporters that the club's new stadium should be ready by 2020. Speaking at the club's sponsor day, the 30 year old daughter of Italian prime minister and club president Silvio Berlusconi, detailed the plans for the new ground:

"The work on the stadium continues and the plastic model is almost ready.

"We are awaiting a response in the first six months of 2015. The idea is to complete the stadium by 2020. This is my dream for the Rossoneri fans.

The area of the city this new stadium will be built in has not formally been chosen, but is believed to be near the new Casa Milan headquarters.

"Right now we are evaluating the area that will be fully functional for the needs of a club like ours. Even my father, who is very fond of San Siro, is enthusiastic about the project.

"There are no financial problems with the stadium, as there are many companies interested in this project.

"Milan Lab will be restructured and in April-May we will begin a commercial project regarding Milan Lab".

The move to the 50,000 seat stadium will see AC Milan part company from Inter Milan, with whom they currently share the 80,018 capacity San Siro. Many AC fans are unhappy with the move as the San Siro, which was built in 1926, was originally owned occupied by their team until Inter began ground sharing in 1947. The new stadium's location is expected to be close to club headquarters, 'Casa Milan'.


Artist's Impression of the Week

'The Game's Up!'; Criminal who poses as footballer is finally arrested.



Football Recommendation of the Week

- Personalised Football Books; A collection of newspaper headlines about the team of your choosing from throughout history. Not a bad Christmas gift idea we must say.




Non-Football Recommendation of the Week

- California Dreaming (Bobby Womack); Who does the best version of California Dreaming? The Mamas and the Papas? The Beach Boys? Brotherhood? If you answered with any of these you're wrong. The correct answer is Bobby Womack. Why are we only recommending a song this week, especially when it's Christmas and we must be spoiled for choice for non-football recommendations? Listen to the song and thank us later. It's bloody brilliant.



Don’t forget you can follow us on Twitter @footballcircus or on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/pages/Football-Circus/418804204906352

You can also contact us at footballcircus@gmail.com
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