Thursday, 9 July 2015

The Numbers Game

This week on Football Circus we feature one player who has posed for a photo with a suspected terrorist; a 29 year old retiring from the game; a 43 year old returning to the game; and player found guilty of biting opponents on no less than three occasions, set to star in a children's book as a vampire. It was a sad week for Balotelli as he said farewell to his father and in our Italian Football Story of the Week, Juve say goodbye to Pirlo...




Football Circus Clown Quote of the Week
"A friend of mine gave me the quote ‘he is either smelly or Pele’ and it will be my job to make sure he is more Pele than smelly".
- Yeovil Town manager Paul Sturrock on his side's new signing Jamie Burrows. According to our research, Sturrock is in fact a grown man.

Oh Sh...aqiri! Inter Midfielder Courts Controversy after Photo with Suspected Terrorist
Inter Milan's Xherdan Shaqiri found himself under the spotlight this week after photo he posed for with a fan went viral. The problem was, the fan in question was none other than suspected terrorist, Shefqet Krasniqi. Krasniqi is the imam of the largest mosque in Pristina, Kosovo - Shaqiri's home country. However he was also arrested in September as a terror suspect.
The Inter midfielder said of the photo faux pas via his Faceboo page:
"A picture of the imam Shefqet Krasniqi and myself has caused a lot of unnecessary controversy.
"The imam came to me and asked for a photo, like thousands of other people have done. I had a photograph with him as it would have been rude to refuse not to.
"I was not aware that the imam was associated with terrorism. I can't check the character of every fan who wants to take a photo of me.
"We Shaqiris are observant Muslims, but we are very far from all extremists".

Hamburg Player Released, Retires Almost Immediately at 29
Hamburg released defender Marcell Jansen at the end of the season and as a result, the player has made the unusual decision to retire at the age of just 29. Jansen, who has 45 caps for Germany, says he could not bring himself to play for any other club, such is his love for Hamburg. 
In an interview with Bild, Jansen stated:
"I thought about it on holiday. There were a lot of good offers but for me carrying on is not an option.
"I am fit, can move on a free transfer, could still earn good money but I prefer to renounce the money.
"In the last few years I was very emotionally tied to HSV. I will continue to live in Hamburg and will always love this club. Gladbach, of course, as well. But now some new club? No, I don’t want to lie or deceive some other club or fans when I am no longer fully behind it. I can’t just suddenly kiss another badge now".
Having started his career at Borussia Mönchengladbach, Jansen moved to Bayern Munich for a season before joining Hamburg in 2008, where he made 144 first team appearances.

He's Back! Rivaldo Returns to Playing at 43
While Marcell Jansen is retiring at 29, such is his passion for his club, a familiar face has confirmed he will be returning to the playing field this week. Brazil and Barcelona legend Rivaldo retired from the game in March 2014 and took over as president of his club in Brazil, Mogi Mirim. At the time he said:
"My history as a player has come to the end. With tears in my eyes today I would like to thank God, my family and all the support, the affection that I received during those 24 years as a player".
Flash forward to July 2015 for the twist in the tale. Mogi Mirim have been floundering and Rivaldo, in all his wisdom as president, has seen no other option but to don his boots and Superman costume and help them out himself. On Tuesday, the midfielder played for 68 minutes in Mogi Mirim's clash with Nautico in the Brazilian Serie B. 
Said Rivaldo of his return:
"After one year and three months, I started training back again and went out to play a match after just 20 days and that inspires any younger player.
"I helped the team get out of this predicament. We are still in a difficult situation and we are doing our best to get out of it".
Rivaldo, still as humble as ever.

Suarez to Appear in Children's Book as Vampire
Luis Suarez is fantastic footballer but unfortunately, he may be best remembered for his biting antics. In 2010, Suarez bit PSV's  Otman Bakkal. In 2013 he repeated the offence, when his victim was Chelsea's Branislav Ivanovic. At the 2014 World he bit an opponent for a third time when he sunk his gnashers into Italy's Giorgio Chiellini. Now author of children's books, Peter Barron, wants to depict the Uruguayan striker as a vampire.
The book in which Suarez will feature is called "Daydreaming Daisy McCloud" and forms part of Barron's 'Monstrous Morals' series. Speaking to the Daily Mirror, Barron said of his decision to feature Suarez:
"When I was writing the book Luis Suarez had been in trouble again for biting another opponent.
"So when I needed a striker to complete my monstrous line-up he seemed to fit the bill.
"I just hope he sees the funny side of it and the idea doesn't come back to bite me".

What's Mad Mario Upto this Week?
It's been a sad week for Balo, as he returned home to Milan to bury his father. The striker's adoptive father, Francesco Balotelli, died after a long illness. Super Mario took to Facebook and Twitter to thank fans for their support during his difficult time, with the following message:
"Thanks everyone for the support.. 
"I really wanna thank everybody .
"My family thanks all of you too".
He also posted a photo on Instagram with the caption:
"I'll see you again".
Liverpool allowed Balotelli compassionate leave to attend the funeral as he had been due to report back to training for them this week.
Little else going on this week with Balo, thought rumours linking him with a move to Newcastle seem to be becoming more persistent. Watch this space...

Italian Football Story of the Week
- Juve Say Goodbye to Pirlo
Andrea Pirlo this week said goodbye to Juventus as the club confirmed he was departing to join New York City FC. The club marked Pirlo's departure with a statement on their website and a tribute video, thanking the great midfielder for his service. 
The statement read:
"Pirlo is silent charisma, the steady hand in the middle of the park, the dummy that undoes the opposition defence. He’s that unexpected game that splits the game wide open, the lofted pass that brings a team to its knees.
“It has been an honour and a privilege to share these four fantastic seasons with Andrea, and all associated with Juventus wish him the very best for the future.
“Thanks for everything, Maestro, and good luck".
The following video was also posted on the Bianconeri official Youtube channel:
Pirlo in turn, tweeted a thank you message to Juventus:


"Heartfelt thanks to all of you. It was not an easy decision to make, but the moment has come to start a new adventure which, however, will never make me forget the bond I have with these colours. To the very end: Forza Juventus".
Is someone chopping onions in here?

Artist's Impression of the Week
- 'Chewy Luis'; Suarez to star in children's book as a vampire.

Football Recommendation of the Week
- The Man Who Played Offside (Documentary on One); RTE podcast on Patrick O'Connell, the Dubliner who was the first Irish captain of Manchester United and managed Barcelona. An insightful and intriguing listen.

Non-Football Recommendation of the Week
- AccuWeather; The best damn weather forecasting app there is. (Whaddaya mean this is the most boring non-football recommendation we've ever made? We can't help it if we're not out having new and exciting non-football related experiences every week, we're busy compiling Football Circus!).

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You can also contact us at footballcircus@gmail.com. 

Thursday, 2 July 2015

Greed, Sloth and Three Marios

Welcome to the 113th edition of this blog we call Football Circus. As the long, drawn out, relatively barren (save for the Copa America, U21 Euros, Women's World Cup, pre-season friendlies, Champions League qualifiers, Europa League qualifiers and a few domestic leagues in places such as Ireland and the USA) summer continues, Football Circus is once again here to quench your thirst for juicy, nonsensical football stories. This week we have three Marios, a greedy Gervinho, a lazy Eto'o and a noble German club. And if that's not enough, our Italian Football Story of the Week involves an exorcism...



Football Circus Clown Quote of the Week
"Sessegnon gets it on his left hand foot".
- Iain Dowie.

Gervinho Too Greedy for Abu Dhabi Move
Former Arsenal star Gervinho proved something of a success when he moved to AS Roma, having been widely deemed a let down during his time with the Gunners. So, having rejuvenated his career somewhat with the Serie A club, it came as a surprise to many that the Ivorian looked all set for a move to Abu Dhabi this summer. 
Given relevations in the media this week however, Gervinho's motives for the move are no longer in question. The team who were in talks with the forward were Al Jazira, but they were put off when the 28 year old advised them of his demands. According to Sport 360, an Al Jazira source stated:
"The deal hit a stumbling block because of the excessive demands on his four-year deal.
"He started making obscene demands, so the transfer is off.
"It is better for us to call this transfer off now, rather than live with a player for a few months who is likely to cause problems because of his wage demands".
Allegedly, the demands included the supply of his own personal helicopter, access to his own private beach and an unlimited amount of plane tickets to the Ivory Coast so he could come and go as he pleased. Makes Yaya Toure's hissy fit over a birthday cake last year seem quite reasonable!

Mainz to Offload Gonzalo Jara Following Shocking Copa America Behaviour
Following Chile defender Gonzalo Jara's appalling behaviour at the Copa America which led to Edison Cavani being sent off for Uruguay, his club in Germany, Mainz, had announced that they plan to sell the player. Jara hit the headlines after these antics resulted in global derision of the player himself and his country...
Now his club side have had their say on the matter and it's not good news for the misbehaving Chilean. Speaking to German newspaper, Bild, Mainz's sporting director Christian Heidel stated:
"He knows that if an offer comes, he can go.
"We do not tolerate that. More than the prod, however, it is what comes afterwards that makes me angry. I hate theatrics more than anything".

What A Good-tze Guy! Bayern Star Helps Angry FIFA Player
An angry FIFA player last week sent Bayern Munich a Facebook message which contained a photo of the remnants of his controller which had been smashed following a missed penalty by one Mario Gotze. Mario Thissen wrote the following message to Bayern Munich:
"Please pass on the following message to my idol: 
Hello Mario!
You owe me €49.90 for a new controller. 
You missed a penalty in the 90th minute in FIFA, thank you! 
I will send you my account details tomorrow".
Surprisingly, Gotze himself took the opportunity to reply, with the following message:
"Hello Mario,
To miss a penalty in the 90th minute is a bitter moment. That makes you very frustrated and I can understand that. What happened to Thomas Muller?
Do not simply throw your gamepad in the corner—that cannot do! I’ll order a small package (a small surprise) for you. Next time, I’ll do it for real. I promise!
All the best, Mario!".

Lazy Eto'o - Striker Replicates Farewell Letter
Samuel Eto'o hasn't looked the player he once was since leaving Inter Milan. Spells at Chelsea, Everton and most recently, Sampdoria, have left fans of the Cameroonian underwhelmed. Far be it for us to suggest that the striker became lazy on the pitch and is now merely in it for the pay cheques. Age of course could well be a factor for his waning performances of recent years. His farewell letters to fans however, well, we're not afraid to call laziness on these...On leaving Everton in January, Eto'o penned the following 'heartfelt' letter to Toffees fans:
"Dear Toffees, 
I've been blessed to spend these past few months with you. 
To my pleasure, I have discovered here a crowd of warm, passionate, affectionate and supportive fans... It's time for me to leave, but wherever I go, I will bring with me all the memories we've built together.
A special "Thank You" to the Everton staff who helped me settle down and of course to our manager Roberto, who made all of that possible. 
It was an honour to be part of your army.
You will always be in my heart.
Yours Sincerely, 
Samuel Eto'o".
Flash forward a few months, and Eto'o is already on his way out of Sampdoria with a move to Turkish team Antalyaspor looking likely. Cue Eto'o feeling the need to express his gratitude to the fans of the Serie A club. This time he wrote:
"Dear Blucerchiati ,
I've been blessed to spend these past few months with you.
To my pleasure, I have discovered here a crowd of warm, passionate, affectionate and supportive fans... It's time for me to leave, but wherever I go, I will always remember what it is to be in a place where football is not only a passion but a way to keep a family together.
A BIG "Thank You" to the U.C. Sampdoria staff who helped me settle down and gave me the opportunity to once again experience the pleasure to play in the Serie A. Thank you to Sampdoria Lawyer Romei Antonio for his constant help…Of course a special “Thank you”, to our president, a father to me, who made it all of that possible. He believed in me from the first to the last minute, and for that I will forever be grateful to him.
It was an honour to be part of your army.
You will always be in my heart".

What's Mad Mario Upto this Week?
Any potential move to Sampdoria this summer looks to be off the cards for Balo after Sampdoria manager Walter Zanega ruled out a move both for Super Mario and international team mate, Antonio Cassano. Said Zanega:
"Cassano and Balotelli are players of extraordinary talent, but no, we won’t be signing them.
"We have already made three or four buys. There’s Edgar Barreto, Niklas Moisander, Federico Bonazzoli and Mattia Cassani. We got Cassani to plug the gap after Lorenzo De Silvestri’s injury.
"The club acted quickly in the transfer market and we are building a good squad".
Meanwhile, Balotelli took to Instagram to post a phot he took outside a shop window which contained toy models of Superman, Captain America, Spiderman, Ironman and non other than Balotelli himself. Balotelli accompanied the picture with the caption: "Lol I want them!!!". Playing with toy models, how bloody childish!".

Italian Football Story of the Week
- Lazio President Lotito Claims Calls with Pulvirenti were over an Exorcism
We've had some weird stories come out of Italy before and a lot of stories about corruption, but this one may just take the biscuit. Catania president Antonino Pulvirenti is currently being prosecuted for match-fixing, on foot of which his phone records have been seized. Included in the phone records are calls between Pulvirenti and Lazio president Claudio Lotito. But, according to ANSA, Lotito has a perfectly reasonable explanation for the phonecalls - he was discussing an exorcism.
Said Lotito:
"Pulvirenti complained about a lot of personal and family troubles which had occured, so I suggested the name of an exorcist.
"It’s easy to check. When Pulvirenti told me his problems, I got information from a priest in Catania, and he advised an exorcist.
"As for the rest, he asked me for appointments with sporting creditors, the CEO of a bank and Chievo.
“That’s the truth, and it can be seen in all the records of the investigation".

Artist's Impression of the Week
- 'How Much is that Balo in the Window?'; Balotelli eyes up toy model of himself.

Football Recommendation of the Week
 - Pundit Colouring; Have you ever fancied colouring in some of your favourite football pundits such as Garth Crooks, Jeff Stelling and Des Lynam? Well your day has finally come because Pundit Colouring is a colouring book to fulfil all your pundit colouring needs. The website even contains four free downloadable pundits for you to colour.

Non Football Recommendation of the Week
- True Detective Series 2; If the first series was anything to go by, True Detective Series 2 should be unmissable. Vince Vaughan and Colin Farrell have a lot to live up to.

Don’t forget you can follow us on Twitter @footballcircus or on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/pages/Football-Circus/418804204906352
You can also contact us at footballcircus@gmail.com.