This week, from Blat to Zlat, Football Circus is where it's at. Though we failed to pick up the ‘Best Sports/Recreation Blog’ gong at Blog Awards Ireland 2014 (congrats to http://loneswimmer.com/), we've dusted ourselves down and bring you an ode to Zlatan Ibrahimovic courtesy of Toulouse FC, a FIFA film featuring Tim Roth as Sepp Blatter and Gerard Pique picking mushrooms with Shakira (but of course). If the lack of football this week is getting you down and you've heard more Roy Keane stories than you can shake a stick at, let Football Circus take the reigns and transport you on a journey of obscure football nonsense...
Football Circus Clown Quote of the Week
"I don’t know how many books he’s written now".
- Roy Keane in on Sir Alex Ferguson in October 2013 following the release of Ferguson's autobiography.
Zlat's Tou Much! Toulouse Gush over Ibrahimovic as he Turns 33
Zlatan Ibrahimovic turned 33 on Friday. Unlike Yaya Toure however, who bemoaned the fact that not even his own club had barely recognised his birthday during the summer, Ibra is so popular that a rival club has rushed to celebrate the anniversary of his birth and in ludicrious fashion. On their official website, Toulouse posted the following birthday message to the Swede, who plays for Ligue 1 counterparts PSG:
"Dear Zlatan,
Today is a special day for you and so, indeed, for the whole of France. What are we talking about 'the whole of France'? For the entire planet!
We can only applaud your visionary talent. Anyway, Oh Great Z, know that despite the perverse pleasure that you could take in scoring goals against us these last two seasons, we are not vindictive.
We want to thank you. For everything. On the one hand, we thank you for the breath of fresh air and madness you blew into the Ligue 1 (and all over France). For there is no need to love football to know the reputation of the Hunter of Malmö!
Ligue 1 now not only knows you, but she loves you.
Next, we thank you for Zlatanmania accompanying each of your appearances at home, in Toulouse, and everywhere elsewhere in the province.
You make dream football fans, young and old, but not just that. Now, mums, sisters and cousins also want to come see the Ibrahimovic phenomenon.
Therefore, on this day of celebration, we’re sending you a surprise gift parcel which we hope you will delight you and your offspring.
You’ll find a balm to heal your heel pain, two of our jerseys with your kids’ names on as well as a shoot-em-up video game you love so much.
Also, Renato Civelli will slam a kiss on your neck the next time he visits you at the Parc des Princes. An honourable kiss, obviously.
Happy Birthday and long live the Z!
TFC".
We were bemused to say the least about the Civelli reference, until a Youtube search reminded us of the then Nice player's tender moment with Ibra last season.
So there you have it, the Zlat, adored across the planet...according to Toulouse at least.
Blat's Awful! FIFA Film Flops at Cinemas
A film about the origins of FIFA, United Passions, has flopped since going on general release in a number of countries this week. The film, starring Gerard Depardieu, Sam Neill and Tim Roth who plays Sepp Blatter, cost a staggering $27 million to make and has brought in just $200,000 thus far.
A mere 120 people showed up at the premiere of the film in Switzerland on Sunday and the film currently has a rating of 3.2 out of a possible on IMDB.com.
Graham Dunbar of the Associated Press had the following to say on the film after viewing it:
"The film is no classic, for sure. There are too many men in meetings, and not enough action — football on the field or scandal in the board room — to sustain interest.
"The script is a clunker, too. Within minutes, references to the beautiful game and football being more important than life or death are spoken in a scene set in 1904, decades before Pele and Bill Shankly coined what are now tired cliches".
FIFA may put on quite a show for the World Cup, but Hollywood they ain't.
Pique Has Fun Outside the Dressing Shroom
Gerard Pique was featured on Football Circus last week after detailing his fear of Roy Keane. He's back this week, proving that despite his fear of the Corkman, he's still able to enjoy himself...and it's not the type of extracurricular fun you'd usually associate a footballer with. The Spaniard's girlfriend, pop star Shakira, uploaded a photo to her Instagram account this week...of the couple picking mushrooms.
Shakira accompanied the photo with the caption "Dia de setas!", which translates as "Day of the mushrooms". We weren't aware that such a day existed, or for that matter if anyone outside of the couple and their close friends have ever heard of it. Still, following Barca's 2-0 victory over Rayo Vallecano at the weekend, it's certainly a more interesting way of celebrating than a headline-making night of drinking.
What's Mad Mario Upto this Week?
Balo was on the winning side at the weekend as his Liverpool team defeated West Brom, though it could hardly be said that the mercurial striker inspired them to victory. Balotelli did not start the game but did make an appearance from the bench and put in a solid enough performance but failed to hit the back of the net. Further disappointment followed for the Italian, as he was omitted from his national squad by manager Antonio Conte ahead of their Euro 2016 qualifies against Azerbaijan and Malta.
Conte defended his decision to leave out a man who many see as Italy's star player:
"Mario has started a new path. It's not an easy one and I believe he must be given the necessary time to adapt at Liverpool. We are following him just as we monitor all Italians that play abroad. I make selections not exclusions, which is something completely different".
As usual however, Balotelli has not let on field performances or politics for that matter, get in the way of his social life, or social media life if you will. His former Man City teammate Micah Richards signed up for Instagram this week and Super Mario wasted no time in welcoming his pal to the website. Having already wished his friend Zlatan Ibrahimovic a happy birthday via the website earlier on in the week, Balo uploaded a photo of he and Richards posing as boxers and dubbed Richards his "twin".
Richards, soon after signing up for the website, wrote:
"@mb459 always up to no good!!!!".
Balotelli retorted:
"My twin!!! @micah_richards_ is on instagram! Let’s follow him".
In some further Instagram activity, Balo bizarrely posted a photoshopped image of himself flying back to earth from space with the caption, "Time to come back!". Really, we have no idea.
Italian Football Story of the Week
- Totti Gets Snotty as Juve Beat Roma, while Garcia Plays Imaginary Violin
A Serie A top of the table encounter between Juventus and Roma at the weekend turned out to be thrilling spectacle, with Juve running out 3-2 victors in a game which featured three penalties and two players and one manager sent off.
While it was quite a tight affair, Roma captain Francesco Totti has suggested their may have been some dark forces at work which helped Juve over the line.
After the match, the 38 year old raged:
"It’s a huge shame after a good performance. We came to Turin to play our game, but you saw what happened and that affected the match.
"For years the same old incidents keep happening. I don’t know if we were beaten by referees, but we certainly were not beaten by Juventus tonight.
"Yes, we are angry, but also aware we are a great team and must lift our heads straight away.
"This was a match we really cared about, but Juventus ought to have their own league, as by hook or by crook they always win.
"Are we back to the same doubts? I am not the only one saying this, as these are things everyone in Italy should discuss.
"With Juventus when there is any doubt whatsoever, it’s always a penalty. I have to stop now, as if I keep talking then I’ll get suspended".
Totti was not the only Roma employee in foul mood following the clash. His manager Rudi Garcia was sent to the stands after being caught playing an imaginary violin after the Bianconi were awarded a penalty. The impromoptu air violin rendition left the referee unimpressed and Garcia was swiftly told to leave the touchline.
Artist's Impression of the Week
- 'Piqin Mushrooms'; Barca defender goes mushroom picking.
Football Recommendation of the Week
- Finished Players; Ever wonder what did become of Des Walker after he hung up his boots? Or have you ever caught yourself gazing out the window, asking yourself where is former Celtic star Harald Brattbakk now? Well, put your mind at ease because Finished Players has the answers!
Non Football Recommendation of the Week
- American Sniper; Clint Eastwood's latest offering due out next year. The trailer suggests it's going to be a pretty intense affair indeed.
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