Sir Alex Ferguson once famously said: "For me, the most fundamental ingredients which go into making football the most truly exciting and entertaining game in the world are: Dogs, on-pitch riots in Russia and Ariel washing powder boxes that carry Nazi connotations". Or was that Arsene Wenger? Oh wait, it was neither. But they might and so might you after reading this week's Football Circus! So get stuck in...
Football Circus Clown Quote of the Week
"Let the women play in more feminine clothes like they do in volleyball. They could, for example, have tighter shorts".
- Sepp Blatter on how to increase interest in women's football
Zenit Match Abandoned after Fans invade Pitch - Captain Punched in Head
Zenit St. Petersburg took on rivals Dynamo Moscow on Sunday, but the match had to be abandoned after 87 minutes as Zenit fans lost the run of themselves and invaded the pitch.
With Zenit 4-2 down, they were on course to surrender their top-of-the-table position to CSKA Moscow. Enraged fans stormed the pitch, forcing the referee to call a halt to proceedings. Zenit manager Andre Villas Boas attempted to reason with the mob-like crowd, but to no avail. One fan was even caught on camera punching Dynamo captain Vladimir Granat in the head, leaving him with concussion.
Zenit have subsequently released a statement on their fans' unruly actions:
"The behaviour of the fans is affecting in the most serious way their own club, the players and our many millions of supporters.
"At present the police and the club are trying to find the fan and we are preparing evidence for a criminal case."
Meanwhile, Dynamo manager Stanislav Cherchesov told local television:
"I would not want to play. If I was hit, would you force me to go back on to the field? I would not want to do that. The player was hit in the face a few times and he says I don't want to go back out there. What can you do?".
The pitch invasion will likely result in disciplinary action against Zenit, likely depriving them of any slim hopes they had for lifting the title.
Three Dogs take to Pitch in Bolivia - Ball Boy Comes to the Rescue
A Bolivian league match between Universitario Sucre and The Strongest was held up last week as not one, not two, but three dogs ran onto the pitch. The three little mutts appeared to be having a great time - that was until a Universitario defender recklessly attempted to grab one in order to remove it from the pitch, with little success.
The defender's efforts to remove the dog, looked a little on the aggressive side and the dog was seen to fight him off. A ball boy, now being hailed as a national hero, interrupted, scorning the player for his mishandling of the animal and then chasing after the pooch to remove him safely.
Univeristario's keeper was unimpressed with the ball boy's actions, screaming at him for getting involved.
Zlat's Entertainment - Ibra is Mr. Popular
We love Mario Balotelli so much here at Football Circus that we dedicate a segment to him every week. Another striker capable of entertaining the masses both on and off the field is Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Ibra has featured in many past editions of this very blog and we would go on record as considerring ourselves fans of the big Swede. It became very apparent this week that we are not alone in that regard.
As we by now know, Sweden narrowly missed out on World Cup qualification, robbing the world of Zlatan filled summer. Never fear though, for a host of current and former Brazilian footballers in addition to a few Brazilian celebrities, have collaborated to start a viral campaign to get Ibra to the World Cup. The #VEMIBRA campaign begin in earnest this week, with the likes of Ronaldo, Dani Alves and Bebeto urging Ibrahimovic to come to Brazil this summer and join them to watch one World Cup match. Ibra himself has previously stated "A World Cup without me is nothing to watch", so they may have their work cut out for them.
Zlatan was also subjected to ridicule this week, from PSG teammates Marco Veratti and Salvatore Sirigu, along with manager Laurent Blanc, as he gave an acceptance speech having been named as the Ligue 1 Player of the year. It seems that Ibra's French isn't quite as polished as his football, as Veratti, Sirigu and Blanc were caught on camera in hysterics and Zlat blundered his way through the speech.
Washing Powder Manufacturer told to Clean Up Act after World Cup Promo goes Wrong
Washing Powder giants Ariel have caused a stir in Germany after their special edition World Cup packaging was seen to have Nazi-esque connotations.
The boxes were made to look like football jerseys with the number '88' on them. The '88' referenced the amount of washes Ariel suggest can be done from just one box. The boxes also noted a "new concentration" (this regarded a new concentrated powder being used).
Cue members of the public putting 2 and 2 together (or 8 and 8 as the case may be) and coming up with 'Nazi-sympathisers!!'.
Ariel is close to the word 'Arier' which is German for Aryan. 88 is a number connected to Neo-Nazi's as each 8 (apparently) stands for 'H' (the eight letter of the alphabet) - an abbreviated version of 'Heil Hitler'.
Additionally, the mention of the word "concentration", given the rest of the evidence, was thought to be a possible reference to concentration camps.
Parent company Proctor and Gamble have been forced to remove the boxes from the shelves and were quick to release a statement on the matter:
"P&G is committed to the values of tolerance, respect, diversity and humanity. We regret if people came to see the wrong associations and we resolutely dissociate ourselves from any right-wing (Nazi) body of thought".
What's Mad Mario Upto this Week?
At this stage, we know that Mario Balotelli is fond of all things social-media. This week, he's been on Instagram, uploading a video of him burning his sleeping brother with a hot lighter (http://instagram.com/p/nsooO3rj0w/). In a slightly more responsible Twitter post, Balotelli lauded Inter Milan legend, and former teammate of Balo's, Javier Zanetti, who played his last match at the San Siro for Inter last weekend. The striker wrote:
"Javier Zanetti is an example of humanity and professionalism for all of us! Big Pupi!".
On the pitch, Super Mario has had little to smile about with his Milan team losing 2-1 to Atalanta. Balotelli hit the woodwork in each half, but failed to get on the scoresheet with Milan's lone goal coming in the form of an O.G. from Atalanta defender Gianpaolo Bellini. The Rossoneri had further reason to be unhappy as their Guinea international Kevin Constant was racially abused by opposition fans after he conceded a penalty, with a banana even being thrown towards him. To his credit, Constant played on.
Meanwhile, Balotelli's agent Mino Raiola has rejected rumours that his client will be leaving AC Milan this summer. Speaking with Sky Sport Italia, Raiola said:
"Galliani told me that Mario is not for sale, and this makes us very happy.
"From now to August 31, there will be a lot of rumours about his future, but it is not a problem".
On Tuesday Balotelli was, unsurprisingly, named in Italy's 30-man provisional World Cup squad. He'd have to something monumentally silly to blow his chances of making the full squad. Surely he wouldn't...would he?
On a COMPLETELY unrelated note, Mr. Balotelli has today hit the headlines for allegedly getting into a fight outside 'Hollywood' nightclub in Como on Sunday. Balotelli's phone was apparently stolen while he was in the nightclub and after seemingly identifying the thief, Balo and his sidekick Robin, sorry, brother Enoch, got into a scuffle. Despite Mino Raiola's insistence earlier in the week that Super Mario would be going nowhere this summer, word has it that Milan president Silvio Berlusconi is now intent on selling the star after these latest rumours.
Italian Football Story of the Week
- Zanetti given Memorable Send Off
Last week we reported on how Inter Milan stalwart Javier Zanetti had announced his retirement following his side's 1-0 defeat against city rivals AC Milan. Zanetti played his final match at the San Siro for the Nerazzurri at the weekend against Lazio and his team gave him a send off to remember.
His swansong ended in a 4-1 victory but it was not just the scoreline that Zanetti could be pleased with. The Argentine wore a captain's armband with the caption 'ZANETTI 4 EVER', and had the names of every Inter Milan player he ever played with included on it. Teammates also wore jackets bearing Zanetti's famous number four.
The Inter legend did not start the match but was brought on as a 52nd minute substitute and as the full time whistle went, he was seen weeping at what had signalled the end an illustrious career. A montage of his time at the club was then shown in the stadium, with fans giving him a standing ovation.
Zanetti, clearly overwhelmed by the occasion, had the following to say:
"I really struggled to hold back the tears, I'm crying on the inside. It's an amazing, unforgettable evening. Lots and lots of images passed through my mind tonight. I thank the fans and the Moratti family for the career I've been able to have and all the love they've given me. I could see what sort of atmosphere there was even before the game - incredible. I've always been proud to defend these colors. It wasn't easy to take this decision. I've given everything I had. I'm glad to be able to quit when I'm physically and mentally fit. I'll tell the lads who pull on the Inter jersey in future that they have to honor it and defend it as I've had the privilege of doing. It's important to have that sense of belonging and understand what it means to play for Inter and defend these colors across the world. That's what they need to understand. I'll miss lots of things: the dressing room, drinking mate with Samuel and Milito, the training camps. I'll carry it all with me for the rest of my life".
Despite his playing career coming to an end, Zanetti will still have a role at Inter as he takes up a position as vice-president of the club.
Artist's Impression of the Week
- 'Balotelli Plays with Fire'
Football Recommendation of the Week
- 1000 Football Shirts; The Colours of the Beautiful Game (Bernard Lions, Carlo Ancelotti); 999 football shirts not enough for you? Fine, well here's 1000. Probably not the most groundbreaking book you'll find leading upto this year's World Cup, but entertaining nonetheless if you're a bit of a football jersey connoisseur. Perfectly acceptable coffee table book.
Non-Football Recommendation of the Week
- Hoegaarden; "...pouring Hoegaarden is just like letting the sun fall into your glass".
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